Da'wah to Preteens

[AnonyMousey]

As-salaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

A few of my friends and I decided that it's time we - the older teen girls - to do something with the preteen/ early teen girls in the community... most of them attend the Madrasah (a small weekly after-school-hours Islamic school that my dad runs and I help out at), and we're constantly emphasizing the need to have true emaan and to implement everything learnt at the Madrasah in their daily lives and so on, but these are preteens we're talking about: largely concerned with their (kuffaar) school friends, the latest TV shows, and fashion.

We figured that insha'Allah if we get these girls (about 10 of them) together, sit down with them, and have a heart-to-heart talk with them, they'll start taking the Deen more seriously (and they HAVE to, quite a few of them are already baaligh but don't even pray ever salaah)... also, it might help for the message to be coming from us (teen girls who are already friendly to them) as opposed to coming from my mom ("too old to understand" they think) or my dad (bearded sheikh-y dude who is, despite being surprisingly cool, is still "just another teacher" to them).

Anyway, any suggestions or ideas or tips on what to start with?
I was thinking of beginning with the basics - belief in Allah, and what they know about Allah and how "connected" they feel to Him, etc. - and mostly just using the first day as a way to gauge what level they're at in terms of understanding, etc. so lots of open discussion and stuff.
After that insha'Allah we'll have a better idea of what to do, but I'd like to have some stuff handy/ ideas to work with in preparation... so d'you guys have anything to offer?

[Mu'awiya]

asalaam alaikum


try getting a certain amount as close friends, people who you can chat to [like you've said] - but make it so its a place and position of advantage for them, this way they can brag about it to their other mates, and if their friends want to get involved - then it allows them to come forward, while they look forward to it.

i.e. maybe a social hangout spot where you can discuss all gurls stuff, and since you're probably older than them, you could discuss older, maturer girl things which will interest them since they want to be counted as mature at this age in life, an age where they're trying to understand who they truly are. You can allow them to express that by giving them advice.


this will be an advantage and attraction to them because; they'll figure they got an older girl to hang out with, who will give them info that they don't even know about, aswell as freebies (you could throw in gatherings where there's good food, good friends, and things to talk about - this is where you mix them topics that you discuss in with islam, and there is no shyness in islam when it comes to discussing religion.

there's also the advantage of the gatherings increasing over time insha Allah, and a meeting spot outside of school is great gossip at this age, which may even spread onto their non muslim friends, and it would be a dawah opportunity which would allow the non muslim girls to even come.




attempt to pray salaah in jamaa'ah/congregation, even if this isn't obvious or easy at the beginning.. it will gradually pull them towards it - since you will be a role model insha Allah, aswell as being the leader of the activities. even if some are shy to know how, you help them without allowing them to be embarrassed, you give them that confidence. Anyone who doesn't pray, insha Allah they will feel the odd one out and feel that they have to join in - so they don't feel strange among the rest.



Make it at a certain time period of the week maybe i.e. at 3pm on saturday (thats just an example), this way you have new things to talk about without running out of ideas, plus it makes it something for the girls to look forward to every week. [When something is done too often, it may become repetitive and expected, but making something unique and after a small period of time gives it value.]


Remember that social activities are also kool, instead of just talking all the time.. so try to prepare activities aswell which are halaal, and easy for you to have access to. Keep doing new things. And know that social concept of it is what will urge them to get more involved, bi idhnillah.




erm.. that's all i can think of yet, maybe if i have more ideas i'll input more insha Allah. May Allah make it a success.

[I_Am_A_Hermit]

What we're doing here in SmurfLand is - we're painting our faces blue.

The stuff we do here is go bowling and at the same time talk about Islam. If you want to educate them in regards to Islam - then it's good to devise a sort of structured plan of Islamic History, like a syllabus. Then gradually go through that.

If they don't know how to pray - start with that first.

Remember to make it fun and informal. Kids like that sort of stuff.

Masha'Allah I think it's great what you're doing sis. We're doing the same sort of thing here, but the govt is funding us because us Muslim women are just so deprived:rolleyes:

But the brother hit the nail with his post.

[Umm]

I would suggest you start by asking them how they feel as Muslims growing up in Canada. This will give you a chance to find out how comfortable they feel with their Muslim identity, and initiate discussions on hijab, parental expectations, culture, etc.
You can subtly bring in the islamic viewpoint without preching to them.

[Umm Ahmed]

Very important is your rapport with the girls sis , they should feel totally at ease with you so they can share their problems, at that age a small problem can seem insurmountable, sharing your own experiences is a good way to get them to open up.
Next thing is to concentrate on building good relations between the sisters in the group , this way they have a social network of friends who are all trying to build up their emaans.

When advising its good to teach them why we cover, why we pray ect.

May Allaah grant you sucess ameen.

[AnonyMousey]

JazakAllahu khair for the responses! I'll keep them in mind, insha'Allah :)
Please keep the suggestions coming!

[Fajr]

As-salaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

Anyway, any suggestions or ideas or tips on what to start with?
Wa `alaykumusalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Sister, you should go for it. This is probably the best thing you can do for your community, may Allah give you tawfeeq and success. Ameen

When we were teens, a group of us got really fed up with the state of things in our area so we started something like this. We rented out a hall once a month and gathered all the teens and young girls in the community & we each did an Islamic talk (monthly rota), invited speakers, did practical sessions, quizes and always had presents/surprises. In fact, I think the first ever talk I did was there when I was about 16/17 to 60+ sisters, I was so nervous!

Because we were quite young ourselves, we covered all the topics we knew was essential for the sisters at those ages but we kept a standard on it, e.g. we spoke their level, kept them close and treated them as friends whom we wished well for. Bi-fadhlillah, we taught them the essentials (they all started praying) and helped them get out of the teen-troubles most of them were in. That year, alhamdulillah hijab/jilbab became the icon in our area as all the sisters took to it.

I don't know what clicked, but alhamdulillah these circles became the most popular in our part of London - we had about 100-200 sisters turning up @ each halaqah and the aunties loved it.. they cooked dinner & deserts for us :) After the ni3am of Allah, I think things were successful because maybe the sisters felt there was trust between us as we were either the same age as them or slightly older - they would entrust us with issues that you know they'll never tell anyone else. Of course we kept a tab on these issues and we would get help for them the next time round (and the sisters actually came back along with their sets of friends!)

After a while we started to move on (some of us left the country etc) but because there was a massive impact on the community, the sisters who had been attending for a few years actually took over and a beautiful cycle began which 5 years on, it's still running really well today alhamdulillah. In those 5 years, from the sisters we've had huffaadh al-qur'aan, those who became fluent in Arabic, some that helped their families & friends to revert to Islam & others became key players in the da'wah - alhamdulillah it all started in their early teens when they didn't even know how to pray.

I think the key is addressing what really needs to be addressed in your specific community and delivering it in a way you know will impact your target audience. We would always evaluate things with the sisters and actually ask them like 'what would you like us to discuss next month', 'what's bothering you/what don't you understand' etc and it opened up a plethora of discussions and ideas which we brainstormed and put together for next time.

It was hard work but Allah made it successful and that's all that mattered in the end.

I ask Allaah to assist you and grant you tawfeeq!

[Abu Dharr Al Kashmiri]

Innalhamdulillaah wassalaat wassalaam ala Rasulillaah

Asalaam'alaykum wa rahmatullah.

You should give them this talk about the prayer insha'Allah

Track 1 (http://www.kalamullah.com/Yusuf%20Idris/Track.mp3)

Track 2 (http://www.kalamullah.com/Yusuf%20Idris/Track%20No02.mp3)

Track 3 (http://www.kalamullah.com/Yusuf%20Idris/Track%20No03.mp3)



Yusuf Idris - Why Don't You Pray?
Allah says: "And they have been commanded no more than this: to worship Allah, offering him sincere devotion, being true (in faith), and to establish regular prayer, and to pay zakaat, and that is the religion right and straight" (al-Bayyinah 5). Also: "Verily, the prayers are enjoined on the believers at stated times" (al-Nisaa 103).

Jaabir (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "Between a man and polytheism (al-shirk) and disbelief (al-kufr) is the abandoning of the prayer". (Recorded by Muslim.)



May Allah Azza wa Jal reward those behind kalamullah with firdaws al 'aala! Aameen

[Abu Ikrimah]

As-salaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

A few of my friends and I decided that it's time we - the older teen girls - to do something with the preteen/ early teen girls in the community... most of them attend the Madrasah (a small weekly after-school-hours Islamic school that my dad runs and I help out at), and we're constantly emphasizing the need to have true emaan and to implement everything learnt at the Madrasah in their daily lives and so on, but these are preteens we're talking about: largely concerned with their (kuffaar) school friends, the latest TV shows, and fashion.

We figured that insha'Allah if we get these girls (about 10 of them) together, sit down with them, and have a heart-to-heart talk with them, they'll start taking the Deen more seriously (and they HAVE to, quite a few of them are already baaligh but don't even pray ever salaah)... also, it might help for the message to be coming from us (teen girls who are already friendly to them) as opposed to coming from my mom ("too old to understand" they think) or my dad (bearded sheikh-y dude who is, despite being surprisingly cool, is still "just another teacher" to them).

Anyway, any suggestions or ideas or tips on what to start with?
I was thinking of beginning with the basics - belief in Allah, and what they know about Allah and how "connected" they feel to Him, etc. - and mostly just using the first day as a way to gauge what level they're at in terms of understanding, etc. so lots of open discussion and stuff.
After that insha'Allah we'll have a better idea of what to do, but I'd like to have some stuff handy/ ideas to work with in preparation... so d'you guys have anything to offer?

My humble advice is to be as hip, cool and even nutty as you can without compromising on the principles of Islaam... Be as innovative as you can...

[Abu Maryam PK]

... Be as innovative as you can...
without being an innovator, of course

[AnonyMousey]

My humble advice is to be as hip, cool and even nutty as you can without compromising on the principles of Islaam... Be as innovative as you can...

*Sighs*
At our first (and currently only) meeting, they thought my friends and I were TOO nutty! (Fear not, we didn't show up in clown costumes or anything) :S
Bahhhhh, kids... you can never make them happy... either you're too grown-up and serious and boring, or too weird and laugh too much!

Ah well, we'll be trying again soon, insha'Allah - and summer camp coming up, so that should make them relax a bit and be willing to talk a bit more, insha'Allah :)

[Abu Ikrimah]

I see...

Maybe you should tone it down a tad then....

[Umm Kalthoom]

We are doing this as well in our community and many are attending..
i got some cool suggestions for you too .. inshAllah will post them up soon.

[Umm Kalthoom]

Wa `alaykumusalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Sister, you should go for it. This is probably the best thing you can do for your community, may Allah give you tawfeeq and success. Ameen

When we were teens, a group of us got really fed up with the state of things in our area so we started something like this. We rented out a hall once a month and gathered all the teens and young girls in the community & we each did an Islamic talk (monthly rota), invited speakers, did practical sessions, quizes and always had presents/surprises. In fact, I think the first ever talk I did was there when I was about 16/17 to 60+ sisters, I was so nervous!

Because we were quite young ourselves, we covered all the topics we knew was essential for the sisters at those ages but we kept a standard on it, e.g. we spoke their level, kept them close and treated them as friends whom we wished well for. Bi-fadhlillah, we taught them the essentials (they all started praying) and helped them get out of the teen-troubles most of them were in. That year, alhamdulillah hijab/jilbab became the icon in our area as all the sisters took to it.

I don't know what clicked, but alhamdulillah these circles became the most popular in our part of London - we had about 100-200 sisters turning up @ each halaqah and the aunties loved it.. they cooked dinner & deserts for us :) After the ni3am of Allah, I think things were successful because maybe the sisters felt there was trust between us as we were either the same age as them or slightly older - they would entrust us with issues that you know they'll never tell anyone else. Of course we kept a tab on these issues and we would get help for them the next time round (and the sisters actually came back along with their sets of friends!)

After a while we started to move on (some of us left the country etc) but because there was a massive impact on the community, the sisters who had been attending for a few years actually took over and a beautiful cycle began which 5 years on, it's still running really well today alhamdulillah. In those 5 years, from the sisters we've had huffaadh al-qur'aan, those who became fluent in Arabic, some that helped their families & friends to revert to Islam & others became key players in the da'wah - alhamdulillah it all started in their early teens when they didn't even know how to pray.

I think the key is addressing what really needs to be addressed in your specific community and delivering it in a way you know will impact your target audience. We would always evaluate things with the sisters and actually ask them like 'what would you like us to discuss next month', 'what's bothering you/what don't you understand' etc and it opened up a plethora of discussions and ideas which we brainstormed and put together for next time.

It was hard work but Allah made it successful and that's all that mattered in the end.

I ask Allaah to assist you and grant you tawfeeq!


jazakillahukhayr fajr .. words of appreciation are not enough.. may Allah make your reckoning easy for you and grant you al firdaus Ameen you know i need some advice from you in regads to something you have done yourself.. subhan Allah how time flies .. subhanAllah..

[bluey]

Assalam Alaykum,

I'm teaching pre-teens as well.

I was wondering, would anyone care to suggest topics that they would be very interested in?

So far, I've covered some of the characters among the Sahaba, [Women companions], Staying steadfast in Islam and Kindness to Parents.

From my experience, sharing your own problems and situations really makes you click with the teens. They tend to open up more.

Anonymous, hows it going?

[oneummah]

well at least you're doing something good. i tried that at my masjid but it seems they don't want to even listen. but then now they're starting to realize bit by bit. mashallah. asalamu alaykum.

[AnonyMousey]

Anonymous, hows it going?

Not very well =(
When we try talking to them, being open with them, asking them questions about what's important to them... they either close up, or give you the answers they think you want to hear (textbook answers).

It's so frustrating! Especially when for a while you've made the mistake of hanging out with your own group, and then they think that your attempts at spending time with them are lame or just pleasing the adults or whatever :(

[oneummah]

Not very well =(
When we try talking to them, being open with them, asking them questions about what's important to them... they either close up, or give you the answers they think you want to hear (textbook answers).

It's so frustrating! Especially when for a while you've made the mistake of hanging out with your own group, and then they think that your attempts at spending time with them are lame or just pleasing the adults or whatever :(
ask them to be honest for Allah loves the truthful. and tell them that you are their sisters and that they should not be ashamed or shy to talk to you about anything. maybe even share your own life experiences before you ask them. asalamu alaykum wrwb.

[Umm Ahmed]

Not very well =(
When we try talking to them, being open with them, asking them questions about what's important to them... they either close up, or give you the answers they think you want to hear (textbook answers).

It's so frustrating! Especially when for a while you've made the mistake of hanging out with your own group, and then they think that your attempts at spending time with them are lame or just pleasing the adults or whatever :(


Then they don't trust you enough to open up , trust takes a lot of time to grow with teens , usually due to broken promises from others , with time and patience it will get better InshaAllaah.
Few tips on building trust.

http://youthdevelopment.suite101.com/article.cfm/building_trust_with_teens

[bluey]

I agree. It takes time and patience, especially with girls.

I would suggest treating them as equals, and not like kids. They *hate* that. In my experience, when I would speak about my own problems, they would really connect to it. Because that would not make me 'perfect' or 'teacher-like'.

Also, my first day, none of them spoke to me except for the usual 'Salam'. It was only for the second and third day that they started talking.

Try doing discussions on subjects that they can all relate to and this also makes them talk to each other. For example, Hijab, CurrentEvents issues, etc.

May Allah subhanna wa ta'ala make it easier for us. Ameen.

[spoiledali]

asalamu alaykum,

I would suggest you start by asking them how they feel as Muslims growing up in Canada. This will give you a chance to find out how comfortable they feel with their Muslim identity, and initiate discussions on hijab, parental expectations, culture, etc.
You can subtly bring in the islamic viewpoint without preching to them.
I've covered some of the characters among the Sahaba, [Women companions], Staying steadfast in Islam and Kindness to Parents.
From my experience, sharing your own problems and situations really makes you click with the teens. They tend to open up more.


May Allah subhanna wa ta'ala make it easier for us. Ameen.