PDA

View Full Version : Being two faced


Um Ismail
12th June 2008, 12:30 AM
ÈÓã Çááå ÇáÑÍãä ÇáÑÍíã

Al Hafidh Abu Hatim Muhammad ibn Hibban said:

"Muhammad ibnul Hussain ibn Qutaybah ibn 'Asqalan informed me that Ibrahim Al Hawrani…on the authority of Sahl who said that the Messenger of Allah said:

"There is no good in a companion who does not observe the same rights towards you as you observe towards him."

Abu Hatim, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

It is compulsory for an intelligent individual who was blessed by Allah to have love for a Muslim, to stay close/cling on to him. He should accustom himself to stay in contact with him if he cuts him off, to turn towards him if he turns away, to give him if he withholds, to draw close to him if he distances himself, to the point that he is like a pillar in his life. It is from the greatest of faults for a person to be two faced in his affection.

Al Muntasir ibn Bilal al Ansari recited (this poem) to me:

How many a friend displays affection with his tongue,
but is deceitful in my absence and is not regretful.
He unwillingly amuses me so I may love him,
but his words in my absence strike me like arrows.


Abu Hatim said:

The intelligent individual is not deficient in his affection, he does not have two faces or two hearts. Rather, what he conceals is identical to what he reveals, his actions are in accordance to his speech. There is no good in two companions where deficiency grows between them, and their state increases in corruption, as 'Abdul 'Aziz ibn Sulaiman Al Abrash recited to me:

May Allaah revile one whom having affection towards is of no use,
and one whose rope/aid is feeble, when extended.
And one who is of two colors, is not consistent
in keeping ties, a betrayer of everyone trustworthy.
And one who has two hearts - meeting him,
is enjoyable, but is untrustworthy in his absence.
And one whom if his eyes were to speak,
they would cut off all paths of companionships.


'Amru ibn Muhammad an Nasai recited to me:

The eye reveals what is within the soul,
of hatred or love if present.
Indeed one who harbors hatred has an eye which is apparent,
unable to conceal by it what lies within his heart.
The eye speaks even though the mouth moves not,
to the point where you would clearly see what lies within the heart.


'Ali ibn Muhammad al Basami recited to me:

A neighbor that continues to send me,
painful words that do not allow me to sleep.
His affection is distance from those close to him,
rather aversion, refuses to be consistent.
He rushes to extend the Salam when we meet,
while underneath his ribs lies a diseased heart.


I heard Muhammad ibn Al Mundhir say: I heard 'Abdul 'Aziz ibn 'Abdilah say: Muhammad ibn Hazim said:

There are brothers who are always displaying smiles,
and brothers: 'Hayak Allaah' and 'Marhaba'.
And brothers: 'How are you and how’s your family.',
but all this holds not the weight of a grain of sand.
Extremely generous when you are not in need of his wealth,
he says: I can give you a loan you if you are in need.
But if you tried to reach what is behind him,
you would find that his wealth is more distant than you thought.


Abu Hatim, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

The intelligent one does not befriend one who is two-faced, or one who has two hearts. He does not reveal anymore affection than what he conceals, and he does not conceal any less love than what he reveals. He should not be, when hardships arise, any different than he were before they arose or before getting involved, because a friendship that is unlike this is not praiseworthy. A man from Khuza'ah recited to Muhammad ibn Khalaf at Taymi, who recited to Muhammad ibnul Mundhir, who recited to me:

My brother is not the one who shows his love for me verbally,
but my brother is he who shows love for me during hardships.
He whose wealth is mine if I had none,
as my wealth is his if he were in need
So do not praise a friend during times of ease,
for he may forfeit his friendship during hardships.
He is only: 'How are you', and 'welcome’,
but with his wealth is as evasive as a fox.

I_Am_A_Hermit
12th June 2008, 09:50 AM
JZK for the reminder Sis.

[Very cynical indeed].

Um Ismail
12th June 2008, 10:12 AM
JZK for the reminder Sis.

Wa iyakom sister.


Very cynical indeed


Not me, I hope.

I_Am_A_Hermit
12th June 2008, 10:33 AM
Wa iyakom sister.


Not me, I hope.


No lol, I meant the article.

How would one know if their 'friend' was a backstabber unless the person him/herself was the suspicious type?

If a person is good, then they'll see that good in others too.

Um Ismail
12th June 2008, 10:49 AM
No lol, I meant the article.

LOL, I'm not sure that makes me feel better :mad: :p

How would one know if their 'friend' was a backstabber unless the person him/herself was the suspicious type?

It's not necessarily suspicion, I would say with age comes experience and wisdom ;)




If a person is good, then they'll see that good in others too.


OK I'll get to the niddy griddy now (as usual, lol), yes what you say is very true, but don't forget that even Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the best of mankind, saw evil in some people. The difference is he showed kindness to them, this is a measure of goodness, but he also had wisdom and insight. Seeing that someone is not really your friend doesn't mean there's absolutely no goodness in them.

And how dare you 'knock' my article.:mad: :p

I_Am_A_Hermit
12th June 2008, 11:28 AM
LOL, I'm not sure that makes me feel better

Ohhh so that's why you're getting so defensive?

You wrote the article!


It's not necessarily suspicion, I would say with age comes experience and wisdom ;)

True. But a person would need to have that sort of mentality in order to come to a conclusion about someone.


OK I'll get to the niddy griddy now (as usual, lol), yes what you say is very true, but don't forget that even Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the best of mankind, saw evil in some people. The difference is he showed kindness to them, this is a measure of goodness, but he also had wisdom and insight. Seeing that someone is not really your friend doesn't mean there's absolutely no goodness in them.

Nicely put.


And how dare you 'knock' my article.:mad: :p

lol call it 'constructive criticism'.

Actually sis, It is a nice article MashAllah, but I would highlight the good points not the negative ones, that way the message is reinforced and 'in your face'.

All in all - pretty cool :cool:

Um Ismail
12th June 2008, 11:51 AM
Ohhh so that's why you're getting so defensive?

You wrote the article!


LOOOOL, no, I did not write it, I'm not that gifted.




True. But a person would need to have that sort of mentality in order to come to a conclusion about someone.


Allahu A'lam.



lol call it 'constructive criticism'.


Can't argue with that.

Actually sis, It is a nice article MashAllah, but I would highlight the good points not the negative ones, that way the message is reinforced and 'in your face'.

Maybe it's my perspective of looking at it that makes me fail to see the negativity in it (or maybe my 'cynicism' :p ) JK

All in all - pretty cool :cool:

Phew, you had me sweating bullets for a minute.

Alhamdulillah.

I_Am_A_Hermit
12th June 2008, 12:11 PM
Phew, you had me sweating bullets for a minute.

lol you make me sound like a Monster. Like I'd cyber-punch you if I disagreed or something :p


Abu Hatim said:

The intelligent individual is not deficient in his affection, he does not have two faces or two hearts. Rather, what he conceals is identical to what he reveals, his actions are in accordance to his speech.

Fajr
12th June 2008, 12:15 PM
Very nice masha'Allah, is this taken from Rawdhat al-'uqalaa?

Um Ismail
12th June 2008, 12:22 PM
lol you make me sound like a Monster. Like I'd cyber-punch you if I disagreed or something :p

lol, sis, I'm sorry, I am merely kidding around, please don't take all this too seriously. Even if you had disagreed, who am I to have to agree with? I'm no one sis, merely some gal on a forum, lol. And you'd cyber-punch me? Sniff.

Hehe, I get your quote, but remember what you said about suspicion :D

DISCLAIMER: I am merely kidding around sis in all this, we're on the same page I hope.

Um Ismail
12th June 2008, 12:26 PM
Yes sister Fajr.

alkathiri
9th July 2008, 02:34 PM
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/82CiY0lyE_o&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/82CiY0lyE_o&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Dawn
18th July 2008, 05:26 PM
whoa, those were some great pointers, i never heard those before.