Advice to the New Muslim

[Hajjaj]

If Allaah guides someone to Islaam, then what should he say and what should be said to him?




He should say:

“I Bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is his slave and messenger.”

Then he is to be advised with accompanying the righteous people, for indeed the messenger of Allaahصلى الله عليه و سلم said:

“The example of the righteous companion and the evil companion is like the perfume seller and the black smith. As for the perfume seller, then he is either going to give you some perfume, sell you some, or at least you will smell a pleasant fragrance from him, and as for the blacksmith, then he will either burn your clothes or you will smell a wretched smell from him.”

I was told of a story while I was studying in the Islaamic University (of Madeenah) that someone entered into Islaam, so he moved from the kufaar’s homes to live with the Muslims. However, the Muslims that he stayed with didn’t even pray, so his Islaam was merely moving from one home to another.

So it is essential that he strives to accompany the righteous people, as well as disbelieving in the worship of the messiah.

And we also advise him to acquire beneficial books such as: Riyadhus Saleheen, Fathul Majeed the explanation of Kitaabut Tawheed, Buloogh Al Maraam, Tafseer ibnu Katheer.

And likewise, we advise him, to learn Islaam from the books of Islaam, and not from the actions of the Muslims, because their actions are not good, you may find a Muslim lying or committing adultery or drinking alcohol, while they know that these things are forbidden. Then the kufaar use this as evidence against the Muslims, so we say to them: We do not call you to this, rather we call you to cling on the correct religion:

{Verily Allaah enjoins Al ‘Adl (justice) and Al Ihsaan, and giving (help) to kin, and forbids Al Fahshaa’(evil), Al Munkar, and Al Baghy(oppression) He admonishes you, in order that you may take heed.} [An Nahl/90. Please refer to tafseer ibnu Katheer for the explanation of this verse.]

And likewise the issue of amaanah (trustworthiness and honesty) as well as other issues that the Muslims have fallen into which are against the legislation of Islaam, these people are not a proof against Islaam, rather Islaam is a proof against the Muslims themselves. So it is important to make this clear so that they (the kufaar) do not use the actions of sinful Muslims as a proof against Islaam, rather we say to them: We do not call you to be like those people, nor like those who are corrupt, or thieves, or those who sell or make alcohol, nor do we call you to become Sufees...

A noble brother who studies either in Britain or Germany once visited us, and told us that Allaah had guided a woman into Islaam, then she saw the Sufees dance in the masjid, so she called him and said, I saw such and such in the masjid, so if this is Islaam, then there is no difference between it and the religion that I have left.

So we do not call you to become a shee’ee, nor a sufee, nor an ‘ilmaanee, rather [we call you to] act upon the book of Allaah, and the sunnah of his messenger صلى الله عليه و سلم even if all the people were to contradict you.

Shaykh Muqbil ibn Haadee al-Waadi'ee

[Madarijas-Salikeen]

as salaamu alaykum

jazakallah khayr for this akhi

[isha-h]

For those of us who have embraced islam and come from families who are not muslims, we must always stand strong in keeping on the straight path; no matter what trials and tribulation you may go through in this life. The trials may come at you from all directions and many times throughout your life, when this happens seek refuge in the One who created you, The Glorious, Allah . He will suffice you through any fitnah, any trial, and any tribulation. Allah is enough for you and for Me. We are Muslim and with this We Love Allah, We Fear Allah, We Pray to Allah, We Worship Allah in the way Allah has asked us to worship him, and We submit in full - Bowing to Our Lord.

Understand that Islam is perfect, but it is the people that have many faults. The realization that every human being has faults and shortcoming that need correction, will help us to work on ourselves and strive to change those things that need changing. And try to take one step at a time in changing until it becomes incorporated into your self; it becomes a part of who you are. A part of your personality. Pray to Allah to help you with this, for He loves His servants to ask Him for Things. Review where you are at right now and do not look to the past but look forward to each and everyday, for those days are precious gifts to work on ourselves and live each day so that it can benefit you in your goals towards becoming a better muslim. Dont let things in this life effect your islam instead turn to your Lord in the times that are very difficult. Know that this life is short, even if we could live to be 80, think of how fast 80 summers would fly by. But the hereafter is Eternal without an end. Know that all your striving in this life will be taken into account and all your deeds will be read. And the biggest winner is the one who will enter Jannah and the losers will enter the hell fire. Do not be decieved by this life for it is ever fleeting. But the hereafter is forever.

[isha-h]

Telling Your Family That you became a Muslim

This is probably the hardest thing you will have to do as a new Muslim.
For many people, it poses the prospect of opening up old wounds,
risking hurt feelings on both sides, and threatens to rip apart family
relationships. For others, they know that they will be accepted by
their parents, siblings, and other family members unconditionally.
Mash'Allah. For teenagers, my advice would be different than advice
that I would offer to an adult, especially one who is living on their own,
and may already be married. Insha'Allah, I will address the concerns of
young people who still live at home first.

Advice for Teenagers
Often, this is a situation which is best handled with care.
There are no exact directions that I can offer to you, because how you
and your family deal with this is based on a number of things: your age,
your community, your relationship with your family, your previous religious
experiences, your parents' commitment (or lack of) to a certain religion,
and their willingness to explore new ideas.

Although it seems like a wacky idea, it has been said by other
converts, and now by myself as well, that it sometimes might be better
to wait six months, a year or more to tell them. The reasons for this vary:
you need to be more established in Islamic practises, and you need time to
make friends and build a support system within the Muslim community.
This is so that if your parents react to your announcement by attempting
to "deprogram you," or schedule "an appointment" with the local
minister / priest / rabbi, you will be able to rely on your knowledge of Qur'an,
and the strength that being a practising Muslim has given you.
Allowing yourself time to build a support system within the Muslim
community is important so that you will have friends to help and guide
you, to help answer any questions or concerns your family might have,
and to help you out should your parents decide that you can no longer
live in their house.

If you are fearful that your family may react with physical abuse,
or a "deprogramming" attempt (yes, it happens), please
make sure that you have someone there as a witness and support.
Whether you are Muslim or not, you have the right not to be abused.
If your family is abusive towards you, seek the necessary help to get
out of that situation as soon as possible.

Another reason that it might be wise to wait awhile is to allow
your parents to see the positive changes that Islam will bring about in
you: greater care to hygiene and appearance, greater discipline in your
daily activities and your schoolwork, the fact that you are not falling
under negative peer pressure to drink or use drugs or have sex, that you are
more willing to honor your parents by helping around the house, that
you are more attentive in your job (if you have one), etc. Allow them
time to be pleased with these positive changes, so that they may see
that Islam is for the better, not just for you, but for all people. If they
see that Islam is "good for you," they may react more positively when
you talk with them about it.

For adults
As an adult, especially one who lives on their own, and who
may be married, your parents and family are already aware that you
are entitled to your own decisions. There are some converts who are
not bothered one way or the other with the way their family may react
because of this reality. However, for many others, it is important to
them that their family respect and accept their decision. It may be
difficult, especially if there are children or a disliked son/daughter in law involved.

An adult who's chosen Islam has to make some of the same
considerations as the teen who's accepted Islam: What is your
relationship with your family? What is their religious commitment,
or lack of one? What degree of commitment did you have to any prior
religions? How open is your family to new ideas? For the adult,
some of the considerations may also include: How do your parents
feel about your husband/wife ? Do your parents have a history of making you feel
obliged to them for favors they have done for you since you left their house?
How close are your parents to your children, if any?

Since you don't live with your parents, it will be easier to
allow them the space and time that they need to deal with your
announcement. Make sure that you emphasise that this hasn't changed
you in any radical way, and that you strongly desire to keep your
relationship with them intact. Make sure that they have access to
their grandchildren, but at the same time, make it clear to them that
you will not tolerate any attempts to teach them anything other
than Islam, or allow them to eat haram foods or participate in
haram celebrations. In some cases, it might be better if you tell
them of your decision alone, so that they can't "lash out" or place
the blame on your spouse. Make sure that they know they must
deal with you directly.

Dealing with brothers and sisters (of the biological type)
Many of us have at least one sibling, and it is
important that you deal with any siblings you may have on an
individual basis, if at all possible. If you are a teenager, this means
talking to younger and older siblings in person, and letting them ask
any questions of you that they may have. Let them know you are the
same person who may argue about whose night it is to do the dishes,
and that you are still their brother or sister. Stress that you still love
them, especially if they are very young, and unable to understand
why you don't go to Church anymore. Above all, make sure that you
are acting as a proper role model for both your younger and older
brothers and sisters.

If you are an adult, the chances are that you and your
siblings have "issues" is great, and you may not even be on speaking
terms. There is also a larger chance that you all live in different
towns and states. When dealing with adult siblings, it is best to
write them a letter or make a telephone call in which you can clearly
explain your decision and answer any questions they may have.
Prepare yourself for resentments that may pop up,
especially those surrounding childhood incidents.

Don't begrudge them for their hurt feelings, and if necessary,
allow them time to work through any issues that they may have:
it may go deeper than your choice to become a Muslim. Assure
them that you are still the same sister/brother who loves to eat cheesecake,
or watch football games.

If you are not on civil or speaking terms with a sibling,
it may be best to avoid telling them your decision altogether, until
you can come to a mutual understanding as family members.

For all new Muslims The most important thing, and I can't stress this enough,
is that you do not allow yourself to get dragged into a "Christianity vs. Islam,"
"Judaism vs. Islam," "Hinduism vs Islam," or any sort of interfaith
debate with your parents or other family members. Often I have
heard of new Muslims whose parents or siblings are in the Christian
ministry, and who have been baited, taunted, and condemned by them.
DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO DRAG YOU INTO A CONFLICT REGARDING
RELIGION AT ALL. If a family member hurls a "judgment" at you
(ie, "You're a Satan worshipper who's going to hell!"),
do NOT respond in kind!
If your relationship outside of this religious difference is salvageable,
then avoid any religious discussions until everyone is willing to
discuss it in a more open minded and civilized manner.

The second most important thing is that you do not
allow yourself to become an active evangelizer. Avoid aggressive
and continuous attempts to convert your family members, as this
will only bring resentment and separation between you. The call to
Islam should be a gentle call, and the best way to give da'wa to
your family is to be a living example of Islam. People can get awfully
stubborn when they are confronted in this manner, and they will
only dig their heels in more. Do not be the cause of great tension
between yourself and your family.

Finally, do not allow yourself to be baited or upset
by any "anti-Islamic" things your parents and family might say.
Many hear of Islam only from news reports and movies like 'Not Without My Daughter.'
Don't allow them to mock you with jeers of "terrorist," "wife beater," and reply with
slogans about "Zionists," and "hypocrites," etc. Instead, gently correct any misconceptions
they may have about Islam and Muslims. If you are a woman, it is important to reassure
them of your rights in Islam, and of your commitment to wear Islamic dress. If they
have some very real concerns about your safety as a Muslim woman,
try and arrange for them to visit the mosque and talk to the
imam, or to get together for coffee with other Muslim sisters.

[Madarijas-Salikeen]

as salaamu alaykum,

that was golden advice! jazakallah khayr! may Allaah keep us firm upon tawheed and allow us to make ittiba of His beloved Messenger salalahu alayhi wa salam and may He cause us to learn his beautiful kalam with proper tajweed and understanding and apply it in our everyday lives ameen

[Hajjaj]

What is your advice for an individual who has just begun to practice Islam?

Answer:

My advice to this new practicing individual is:

1- He should constantly ask Allah to make him firm.

2- He should increase in recitation of The Quran with contemplation. This is because recitation has a major (positive) affect on the heart, especially when coupled with contemplation and reflection.

3- He should be diligent in being obedient to Allah, and he should not become bored or lazy. This is because The Messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa salem) sought refuge from inability and laziness.

4- He should be diligent in befriending good companions, and distance himself from evil companions.

5- He should also advise himself when he finds himself thinking: Time is extremely lengthy and the path is too long! At this point, he should advise himself and remain firm. This is because Jennah (paradise) is surrounded with trials and difficulties, while the The Hell-fire is surrounded with desires.

6- He should distance himself from bad companions even if they (those companions) are individuals he knew in the past. This is due to the fact that evil/bad companions influence an individual. Because of this The Messenger (salAllahu alayhi wa salem) said: The example of a bad companion is the example of a black smith; either he burns your clothing, or you experience from him a disgusting odor. (Bukhari: 5534, Muslim:2628)

Source: Liqaa al Bab al Meftu 3/530 (Arabic)

Sheikh Muhammed bin Saleh al Uthaymeen