1mran
2nd May 2007, 03:33 PM
I Pray this reaches you in the Best of Imaan and health.
I know it may seem like I’m sending a lot of emails about concealing sins and touching on sensitive issues like Zinha, but there is a reason I’m doing this. It’s become apparent to me that we live in sick and filthy society of low morality and high promiscuity. We have fallen into the traps of Shaytan too many times and he is poisoning the Ummah with these sins, and slowly the Ummah crumbles into pieces the way a body gets infected by a virus and the virus destroys each organ as a time.
But Alhamdulilah, every illness has a cure, and Allah guides who He wills. The Islamic revolution has begun. Muslim youth have started pondering on the reality of this world and have started turning to their Lord. Allahu Akbar!
The problem we have is that many of the Muslims who are coming back to the deen have horrible pasts which they wish they could erase. Now because we live in a society of ignorance, our roles models have become people on TV and the disbelievers in the west. So what has happened is that these young Muslims start seeking help from friends and normally from people (who seem to be pious) around them. This may seem innocent, but there is a great problem with this; because in Islam, there is a big difference between a pious man and an Imam. The best example of the difference can be seen in the story of the man who killed 99 people.
Abu Sa'id al-Khudri reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: There was a person before you who had killed ninety-nine persons and then made an inquiry about the learned persons of the world (who could show him the way to salvation). He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine persons and asked him whether there was any scope for his repentance to be accepted. He said: No. He killed him also and thus completed one hundred. He then asked about the learned persons of the earth and he was directed to a scholar, and he told him that he had killed one hundred persons and asked him whether there was any scope for his repentance to be accepted. He said: Yes; what stands between you and the repentance? You better go to such and such land; there are people devoted to prayer and worship and you also worship along with them and do not come to the land of yours since it was an evil land (for you). So he went away and he had hardly covered half the distance when death came to him and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of punishment. The angels of mercy said: This man has come as a penitant and remorseful to Allah and the angels of punishment said: He has done no good at all. Then there came another angel in the form of a human being in order to decide between them. He said: You measure the land to which he has drawn near. They measured it and found him nearer to the land where he intended to go (the land of piety), and so the angels of mercy took possession of it. Qatada said that Hasan told him that it was said to them that as death approached him, he crawled upon his chest (and managed) to slip in the land of mercy. [Sahih Muslim, Book 037, Number 6662; Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 676]
So you will notice he goes to the pious worshipper (or monk), and although the man was a dedicate servant of Allah, his level of understand of the deen was not strong enough and he gave some wrong advice, which had severe consequences. So thus it is imperative we seek help from a scholar or local imam. But because some people are embarrassed or may not have good imams around them, I have provided an example of someone in a situation in which they require help and the imam helps the Muslim using beautiful words and wisdom. So we should completely avoid telling others of our sins and if we need to tell anyone because we need help, then only tell an imam.
Another problem we have is that of people who had a bad past, and now are good Muslims, and are married. On TV, and in the west, its normally practise to disclose everything to your spouse.. All sins you committed in the past; all this is done in the name of “love and trust”. And many Muslims are confused about this. We also have problems of Muslims asking spouses of their sinful pasts, even after the spouse had repented (from the evil they did). So Insha’Allah the article will help clear the issue and explain what we should do if we are in that situation.
Please also not that although the article is referring to Zinha, it can be generalised for other major sins.
I know the Email is long, but I wanted to add everything on one email instead of sending many on the same issue.
May Allah guide the Muslims who are in these situations and make it easy for them
And Allah knows best
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1. Repenting From Adultery
By Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Question: Brother I don't know what to do, but I have committed a great sin. I know the concept of confession does not exist in our beautiful religion, but I have committed fornication. I am trying to repent, and trying to ask Allah for his forgiveness. As I was reading Surah Noor, I found out that I can't marry a chaste woman, what should I do. Please pray for me so Allah makes his punishments easy on me in the Hell fire.
Answer:
Al-hamdu lillaah.
1) Do not despair, for Allaah the Most Exalted and Glorified said (interpretation of the meaning): "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allaah, for Allaah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [Surah 39,Verse 53]
2) Let your repentance be truly from your heart, and stay away from all sources of temptations. Also, perform many good deeds, as good deeds abrogate the bad ones.
3) If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). Therefore, you can marry a chaste woman.
4) The believer has high hope and aspiration for the best from Allaah. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to God the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds.
And Allah knows best
2. Will the zaani (fornicator) who repents be forgiven even if the hadd punishment is not carried out on him?
www.islam-qa.com
Question: I would like to know if a person commits fornication and he truely repents towards Allah would he be forgiven in the hereafter if the hadd of hundred lashes is not carried out on him in this world.Can only repentance expiate him from this sin or unless and untill the hadd is not carried out on him he can never be forgiven and will be punished in the hereafter.Please answer in accordance with Quran and sunnah.I will be very grateful.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The carrying out of the hadd punishment for a sin for which that punishment has been prescribed is an expiation for that sin. Sincere repentance from sin is also an expiation for sin, and “the one who repents from sin is like the one who did not sin.” And Allaah will turn his bad deeds into good deeds. If he is sincere in his repentance, and prays a great deal for forgiveness, then he does not have to confess so that the hadd punishment may be carried out on him. Rather repentance is sufficient, in sha Allaah.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ___ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance” [al-Furqaan 25:68-71]
It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give me your oath of allegiance and your pledge that you will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, or steal, or commit adultery, or kill your children, or utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making illegal children belonging to their husbands) [cf. al-Mumtahanah 60:12], or disobey with regard to anything that is good. Whoever among you fulfils this pledge, Allaah will reward him, and whoever does any of these things and is punished in this world, that will be an expiation for him. Whoever does any of these things and Allaah conceals it for him, then it is up to Allaah: if He wills He will forgive him and if He wills He will punish him.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 18; Muslim, 1709. ]
In Saheeh Muslim (1695) it says that when Maa’iz came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and confessed that he had committed zina and said, “Purify me (i.e., carry out the hadd punishment on me)”, he said to him, “Woe to you, go back and ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him.”
Al- Nawawi said: This hadeeth indicates that the burden of sin is lifted from one who repents from major sins, and this is according to the consensus of the Muslims.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: From this case – i.e. the case of Maa’iz when he confessed zina – it may be understood that it is mustahabb for the one whose case is similar to repent to Allaah and to conceal himself and not mention his sin to anyone… This was affirmed by al-Shaafa’i who said: I prefer for the one who has committed a sin and been concealed by Allaah to conceal it himself and to repent. [Fath al-Baari, 12/124, 125]
And it was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these sins that Allaah has forbidden, but whoever does any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent to Allaah, for whoever tells us of what he has done, we will carry out (the punishment prescribed in) the Book of Allaah on him.” [It was also narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Saheehayn (4/425) and by al-Bayhaqi (8/330); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 149. ]
And Allah knows best
3. How can someone who used to commit adultery and steal repent?
www.islam-qa.com
Question:
If someone is a very bad Muslim. He/she commits adultry, steals, and gambles. What is the punishment for that person? Just suppose, later in his/her life he/she realize that he wants to be punished for all the sins he has commited. What should that person do? Can he/she go and tell the world to cut-off his hands, and slaughter his head because he is a sinner?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: Adultery (zina) is a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And come not near to unlawful sex [zina]. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” [al-Isra’ 17:32]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The adulterer is not a believer at the moment when he is committing adultery; the wine-drinker is not a believer at the moment when he is drinking wine; the thief is not a believer at the moment when he is stealing; the robber is not a believer at the moment when he is robbing and the people are looking on.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2475; Muslim, 57).
It is a major sin, and the one who does it is warned of a painful torment. In an important hadeeth – the hadeeth of the Mi’raaj – the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We went on and we came to something like a tannoor oven.” I [the narrator] think that he said, that in it there were shouting and voices. “We looked inside and we saw naked men and women, towards whom flames were coming from the bottom of the oven. When the flames reached them they made a noise. I said to them [the two angels], ‘Who are these people?’ … They said to me, ‘We will tell you… the naked men and women in the structure like a tannoor oven are the adulterers and adulteresses.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari in Baab Ithm al-Zunaat, no. 7047).
Allaah also punishes the adulterers severely in this world, and has prescribed the hadd punishment for that. Allaah says concerning the unmarried person who commits zina:
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”
[al-Noor 24:2 – interpretation of the meaning]
With regard to one who is married, the hadd punishment is execution. It says in a hadeeth narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh (3199) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For a married or previously-married person the punishment is one hundred lashes and stoning.”
Secondly:
Stealing is also a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And (as for) the male thief and the female thief, cut off (from the wrist joint) their (right) hands as a recompense for that which they committed, a punishment by way of example from Allaah” [al-Maa'idah 5:38]
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) addressed the people of the Day of Sacrifice and said: “O people, what day is this?” They said, “A sacred day.” He said, “What land is this?” They said, “A sacred land.” He said, “What month is this?” They said, “A sacred month.” He said, “Your blood, your wealth and your honour are as sacred to you as this day of yours in this land of yours in this month of yours.” He repeated it several times, then he raised his head and said, “O Allaah, have I conveyed (the message)? O Allaah, have I conveyed (the message)?” Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, this was his last advice to his ummah, so let those who are present convey it to those who are absent.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1652)
The punishment for stealing is amputation of the right hand as is mentioned in the aayah quoted above. So we advise the one who is asking this question to repent and seek forgiveness for his sins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)” [Ta-Ha 20:82]
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘Allaah says: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you and I would not mind. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.”’” (al-Tirmidhi, 3540; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4338) It was narrated from Abu Dharr that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that Allaah says: “… O My slaves, you commit sin night and day, and I forgive all sins, so ask Me for forgiveness …” (Muslim, 2577)
Fourthly: Repentance that is a matter between a person and his Lord is better for him than confessing his sin before a qaadi (judge) so that the hadd punishment may be carried out on him. In Saheeh Muslim (1695) it is narrated that when Maa’iz came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “Purify me,” he said, “Woe to you! Go back and pray to Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him.”
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: It may be understood from this case – the case of Maa’iz when he confessed to having committed zina – that it is mustahabb for the one who falls into a similar sin to repent to Allaah and conceal his sin and not mention it to anyone, as Abu Bakr and ‘Umar said to Maa’iz. Whoever discovers anything of that nature should conceal it according to what we have mentioned; he should not expose it or refer the matter to the ruler, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in this story: “If you had concealed it with your garment it would have been better for you.” Hence al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “If a person commits a sin and Allaah conceals it for him, I prefer for him to conceal it too and to repent,” and he quoted as evidence the story of Maa’iz with Abu Bakr and ‘Umar. [ Fath al-Baari, 12/124, 125]
And Allah knows best
4. Asking about a person’s past
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Question: As-salam wai lai kum, When helping brothers/sisters to find suitable Muslim partners, what questions can be asked, and what is forbidden to ask ?
Can one ask about their past when they were non-Muslim or not practicing Muslims ?
Can one ask ones wife/sister to describe in detail the appearance of an intended wife or describe in detail to them regarding a brother ? Was Salam
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If you want to look for a wife for someone, or a husband for a woman, then you can ask him about his wishes, such as the desired age, level of education, employment situation, country and origin and position of the family, and whether he has any preferences about her general appearance, such as skin colour, height, etc. The most important characteristic to ask about is a person’s level of commitment to Islam. This kind of useful question is fine.
But asking for details of a person’s past and wanting to know what sins they might have committed when they were ignorant about Islam – this is not right at all. Allaah covers people’s sins and loves to see them covered (i.e., not dragged out into the open). So long as a person has repented, his sins have been wiped out. Islam deletes whatever came before, so why should we ask questions that will only embarrass people? Allaah accepts people’s repentance without their having to confess or expose their sins to any other person. A number of the Sahaabah had committed adultery and murder repeatedly, or had buried infant girls alive, or stolen things, but when they entered Islam they were the best of people. No one needs to be reminded of a shameful past; it is over and done with, and Allaah is the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. What matters when considering a person for marriage is how that person is now: is he righteous or not? Has he cut all ties with his past and his wrong deeds, or not? If he is clearly living a good and righteous life now, then it is wrong to dig up the past. If there is any fear of anything that could have future implications, such as certain diseases and so on, then there are medical tests which can give the answer and put your mind at rest.
As far as giving a detailed description of a prospective wife to someone is concerned, this can be done in writing: one of her mahram relatives (i.e. a blood relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden) or a woman who knows her can write down a description, then a trustworthy person can deliver it to one who is seriously considering a marriage proposal. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should describe another woman to her husband as if he can see her.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4839)
The wisdom behind this prohibition is the fact that a husband might like the sound of what he hears, so he may divorce the one who described the other to him, or there may be temptation to do wrong. (Commentary on the above hadeeth in Fath al-Baari).
We ask Allaah to help us all to do that which He loves and will earn His pleasure. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
And Allah knows best
5. Effect of a wife telling her husband about her bad past, and the effect of that on her life
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Question: Kindly dont ignore this question. May Allah bless all for bringing light in the life of people in difficulties. I am a married and working woman who needs help and advice desperately. I got married a few months back. Problems began soon after that.I was not very religious during my college years and was studying away from my parents. Shaytan took me over and I found a non- Muslim guy very helpful and friendly. I was over confident about myself and I some times used to travel with him to my home town (By Road). On a cursed occasion, he started advancing physically towards me. I fell in the clusters of Shaytan and continued to be in the cursed situation a few times. Once I did the gravest mistake of being alone with him in a house. He tried to do the worst though the utmost did not happen. I realized the depth of my mistake only then.
Although I never went back to such actions, after this evil incident, he has twice seen me formally. Although the relationship came to an end, he used to try me over phone and I used to attend it rarely. But nothing beyond that ever happened. I regret a lot for all these actions .Allah Subhantawla made me realize my mistakes and I have repented to him and prayed for his forgiveness. I am still praying. Later I became much regular in prayers, fasted and found time and interest to learn and adhere to the religion which gave me hopes. My parents started inviting proposals for me and for a long time I had the feeling that I shouldn’t marry and spoil an innocent man’s life. But as my passion for religion increased, I realized that I should not stay unmarried. Then my marriage got fixed with my husband. The thought haunted me, if I should disclose my past to him. I took the path of religion and kept quiet as I have repented deeply for my mistakes. My sense of insecurity made me feel that I should inform the non-Muslim ever not to try to disturb me by any means and I did inform him. Please tell me if this action was correct.
My fiancé started calling me over telephone. In the beginning itself I found him very much suspicious by nature. He did not trust on anyone. He was not much inclined to religion although he wanted me to practice .I hoped that I could bring improvement in him. Once I was forced to speak out that I had an infatuation at my younger age, but not the details. I got married and life began with difficulties. Though, as a wife I have been ever sincere to him, suspicion grew. He started mentally harassing and pestering me all the time digging about my past and he assured me that if anything had happened itself, he would forgive me If I disclosed it. I tried my maximum to avoid questions. He brought the Quran and asked me to make promises. I did the greatest mistake of lying even then. I feel bad about it. Will I be forgiven? I couldn’t stand for long. I disclosed him my past. Life became more difficult for me. He forced me to write to my beloved father and brother in detail about my past. He informed my mother also. They all became speechless. I was degraded to all extent. (Not in public).
I know he loves me, but he uses every opportunity to hurt me mentioning about my past and he always accuses there might me more than what has been disclosed. He does not let me mingle much with my family and even closest relatives. He does not give me peace of mind while at office and has mood swings frequently. Worst of all he is/ was inclined to Shirk, evil eye, black magic like things and seldom goes to Friday mosque even. He says he does not practice it anymore. When I speak about it he points out about my past though he sometimes feels bad about it later. I am so desperate. I need advice. But I know that my love for him is sincere. (He also does !) and I also don’t want to bring any more agonies to my family .How can I improve this situation? Please advice. Please help. May Allah bless all.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: We ask Allaah to accept her repentance and to forgive her for her sins, and to turn her bad deeds into good deeds. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilâh (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
It is not permissible for a husband to let the shaytaan find a way into his heart to make him doubt his wife. The path of doubt is a thorny path which brings no happiness in life, rather his life will be filled with anxiety, worry and exaggeration of minor issues. This is what will make him wrong others and praise himself, and will lead to psychological problem and maybe even physical problems with which Allaah will punish him.
The husband should not have any doubts about his wife at all, and he has no right to ask her about her past. In most cases there is no one who does not have a past which he wishes he could erase from his record and from his memory and the memories of those who know him. If the shaytaan comes to him and makes him force his wife to tell him about her past, this is something offensive, repugnant and haraam. How can it be otherwise, when Allaah has enjoined us to conceal faults? A man should conceal his own shortcomings and conceal those of others too. The husband’s questions mean that he is falling short on both counts.
The man has no right to seek out information on the past from which his wife has repented, for the reasons outlined above. And the women should not tell her husband of what happened in the past that she has repented from; she should cover herself as Allaah has covered her.
Secondly : It is hoped that the wife will adhere to the oath she made when she swore to him that she did not have anything bad in her past. He has no right to force her to talk about her past, let alone make her swear. If she did that, it is a kind of permissible lying, even if she swore an oath, so as to ward off her husband’s foolishness and protect her honour, and to protect her husband and children.
We are surprised that a righteous wife would retract her oath and disclose a past which Allaah had concealed.
Many women ask about the ruling on telling their husbands about a past in which they admit to having committed sins from which they have repented. No one should have any doubt that the ruling is that they definitely should not tell, so as to protect the concealment that Allaah has granted, and so as to prevent her being shamed, and to protect her honour from being impugned by anyone, and to protect their married life from any disturbance.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these filthy things that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, and let him repent to Allaah, because if anyone discloses his deeds to us, we will punish him as prescribed in the Book of Allaah.” [Narrated by Maalik (1562) in a mursal report, and by al-Haakim (4/425) and al-Bayhaqi (8/330) in a muttasal report. The hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, Ibn al-Sakan and Ibn al-Mulaqqin; and it was classed as hasan by al-‘Iraqi and al-Albaani. al-Talkhees al-Habeer (4/57); Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer by Ibn al- Mulaqqin (2/303); al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (663). ]
Filthy things refers to bad actions and foul speech that Allaah has forbidden.
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: This hadeeth indicates that it is obligatory for a Muslim to conceal his private affairs if he has committed an immoral action, and that is also required with regard to other people. Al-Tamheed (5/337).
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly, and it is part of committing sin openly for a man to do something at night, then in the morning when his Lord has concealed him he says: O So and so, I did such and such last night, when his Lord had concealed him all night, but in the morning he discloses that which Allaah had concealed for him.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5721) and Muslim (2990). ]
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for the sinning believer, if he commits sin it is better for him not to do so openly and not to tell anyone about it, and to conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent from it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly”. Those who commit sin openly are those who do bad deeds then in the morning they tell people what they have done. The one who does any of these filthy things should conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, and should not tell anyone about it. [Liqaa’aat al-baab il-Maftooh (13/question no. 13). ]
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It may be learned from this story – i.e., the story of Maa’iz when he admitted to having committed adultery – that it is mustahabb for the one who does something similar to repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, and conceal himself, and not tell anyone about that. Hence al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah be pleased with him) stated: If a person commits a sin and Allaah conceals him, I prefer for him to conceal himself and repent. [Fath al-Baari (12/124, 125).]
In al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah it says (3/181, 182): The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that if a person does anything for which he is to be shamed, it is recommended for him to conceal himself and not tell anyone, not even the qaadi (judge) so that the hadd punishment or ta’zeer (disciplinary punishment) may be carried out on him, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari and others from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly…” And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who does any of these filthy things should conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah.”
Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq said: “If I catch a drinker, I would prefer that Allaah had concealed him, and if I catch a thief I would prefer that Allaah had concealed him.” It is narrated that the Sahaabah –Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Ali, ‘Ammaar ibn Yaasir, Abu Hurayrah, Abu’l-Darda’, al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali and others – concealed those who confessed to sin, or they prompted them to retract their confession, so as to conceal them. But it is better for the one who has committed sin to conceal himself rather than have others conceal him. Committing sin openly out of ignorance is better than committing sin openly out of a desire to brag. Ibn Hajar said: The one who deliberately commits sin openly and flaunts it angers his Lord. Al-Khateeb al-Sharbeeni said: As for flaunting it openly, it is definitely haraam..
The scholars have mentioned the benefits of concealing sin. In al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (3/182) it says:
Concealing sin results in the following:
(a) Not carrying out worldly punishments, because punishments are not required except after proof has been established. But if he conceals it and does not announce it or confess to it, and there is no way of proving it, then there is no punishment.
(b) Sin does not spread further. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allaah knows and you know not” [al-Noor 24:19].
(c) The one who commits a sin and then conceals it is more likely to repent from it. If he repents then he is no longer to blame for it. If the sin has to do with the rights of Allaah then repentance means that he is no longer to blame for it, because Allaah is the most generous of those who are generous, and His mercy prevails over His wrath. So if He conceals him in this world, He will not expose him in the Hereafter. But if the sin has to do with the rights of other people, such as murder, slander, etc, then one of the conditions of repentance is that he restore those rights to those who are entitled to them, or he be forgiven by them. Hence the one who has concealed a sin that has to do with the rights of other people must restore those rights to them..
At the beginning of this answer we mentioned other benefits that have to do with concealing sins committed by the wife before marriage. We do not know of anyone who heard about his wife’s bad past and began to love her more or trust her more, even if she has repented sincerely and become righteous after that. On the contrary, we have seen and heard that doubts increase and that husbands keep a close watch on them and prevent them from doing things that Allaah has permitted, and that ends in divorce because it is impossible for them to live together.
Thirdly: Hence we think that in the case of the wife asked about here:
1- If possible she should lie about herself again in front of her husband, and tell him that it was because of his putting pressure on her, and that there is no basis of truth for what she said.
2- She should not tell her family, which is what her husband wants, otherwise she will be making the same mistakes.
3- If he is not convinced then she should tell her family about that, if the husband tells them what she said.
4- She should be patient in her new life with him, so that she can prove to him that the past has nothing to do with the present. She should try to put up with his words and actions until Allaah guides him, and she should pray to her Lord to guide him and set his mind straight.
5- If his doubts and mistreatment continue and she cannot put up with it, then she has no choice but to leave him, otherwise her life will become an unbearable hell and we do not think that he willwait for long until he decides to divorce her.
6- Apart from this problem and its consequences, we do not advise this woman to stay with a husband who is as bad as she has described, namely his attachment to shirk and witchcraft, and his neglect of prayer, even Jumu’ah prayer, in addition to the doubts and suspicions that she has mentioned, and his mistreatment of her. We do not encourage her to be keen to live with such a person, because a life like that will only take her even further away from the path of faith and guidance.
She should take stock of her situation before her Lord, and pray to her Lord to lessen her calamity and to replace it with something better.
And Allah knows best
I know it may seem like I’m sending a lot of emails about concealing sins and touching on sensitive issues like Zinha, but there is a reason I’m doing this. It’s become apparent to me that we live in sick and filthy society of low morality and high promiscuity. We have fallen into the traps of Shaytan too many times and he is poisoning the Ummah with these sins, and slowly the Ummah crumbles into pieces the way a body gets infected by a virus and the virus destroys each organ as a time.
But Alhamdulilah, every illness has a cure, and Allah guides who He wills. The Islamic revolution has begun. Muslim youth have started pondering on the reality of this world and have started turning to their Lord. Allahu Akbar!
The problem we have is that many of the Muslims who are coming back to the deen have horrible pasts which they wish they could erase. Now because we live in a society of ignorance, our roles models have become people on TV and the disbelievers in the west. So what has happened is that these young Muslims start seeking help from friends and normally from people (who seem to be pious) around them. This may seem innocent, but there is a great problem with this; because in Islam, there is a big difference between a pious man and an Imam. The best example of the difference can be seen in the story of the man who killed 99 people.
Abu Sa'id al-Khudri reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: There was a person before you who had killed ninety-nine persons and then made an inquiry about the learned persons of the world (who could show him the way to salvation). He was directed to a monk. He came to him and told him that he had killed ninety-nine persons and asked him whether there was any scope for his repentance to be accepted. He said: No. He killed him also and thus completed one hundred. He then asked about the learned persons of the earth and he was directed to a scholar, and he told him that he had killed one hundred persons and asked him whether there was any scope for his repentance to be accepted. He said: Yes; what stands between you and the repentance? You better go to such and such land; there are people devoted to prayer and worship and you also worship along with them and do not come to the land of yours since it was an evil land (for you). So he went away and he had hardly covered half the distance when death came to him and there was a dispute between the angels of mercy and the angels of punishment. The angels of mercy said: This man has come as a penitant and remorseful to Allah and the angels of punishment said: He has done no good at all. Then there came another angel in the form of a human being in order to decide between them. He said: You measure the land to which he has drawn near. They measured it and found him nearer to the land where he intended to go (the land of piety), and so the angels of mercy took possession of it. Qatada said that Hasan told him that it was said to them that as death approached him, he crawled upon his chest (and managed) to slip in the land of mercy. [Sahih Muslim, Book 037, Number 6662; Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 676]
So you will notice he goes to the pious worshipper (or monk), and although the man was a dedicate servant of Allah, his level of understand of the deen was not strong enough and he gave some wrong advice, which had severe consequences. So thus it is imperative we seek help from a scholar or local imam. But because some people are embarrassed or may not have good imams around them, I have provided an example of someone in a situation in which they require help and the imam helps the Muslim using beautiful words and wisdom. So we should completely avoid telling others of our sins and if we need to tell anyone because we need help, then only tell an imam.
Another problem we have is that of people who had a bad past, and now are good Muslims, and are married. On TV, and in the west, its normally practise to disclose everything to your spouse.. All sins you committed in the past; all this is done in the name of “love and trust”. And many Muslims are confused about this. We also have problems of Muslims asking spouses of their sinful pasts, even after the spouse had repented (from the evil they did). So Insha’Allah the article will help clear the issue and explain what we should do if we are in that situation.
Please also not that although the article is referring to Zinha, it can be generalised for other major sins.
I know the Email is long, but I wanted to add everything on one email instead of sending many on the same issue.
May Allah guide the Muslims who are in these situations and make it easy for them
And Allah knows best
================================================== =======
1. Repenting From Adultery
By Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Question: Brother I don't know what to do, but I have committed a great sin. I know the concept of confession does not exist in our beautiful religion, but I have committed fornication. I am trying to repent, and trying to ask Allah for his forgiveness. As I was reading Surah Noor, I found out that I can't marry a chaste woman, what should I do. Please pray for me so Allah makes his punishments easy on me in the Hell fire.
Answer:
Al-hamdu lillaah.
1) Do not despair, for Allaah the Most Exalted and Glorified said (interpretation of the meaning): "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allaah, for Allaah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [Surah 39,Verse 53]
2) Let your repentance be truly from your heart, and stay away from all sources of temptations. Also, perform many good deeds, as good deeds abrogate the bad ones.
3) If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). Therefore, you can marry a chaste woman.
4) The believer has high hope and aspiration for the best from Allaah. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to God the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds.
And Allah knows best
2. Will the zaani (fornicator) who repents be forgiven even if the hadd punishment is not carried out on him?
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Question: I would like to know if a person commits fornication and he truely repents towards Allah would he be forgiven in the hereafter if the hadd of hundred lashes is not carried out on him in this world.Can only repentance expiate him from this sin or unless and untill the hadd is not carried out on him he can never be forgiven and will be punished in the hereafter.Please answer in accordance with Quran and sunnah.I will be very grateful.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
The carrying out of the hadd punishment for a sin for which that punishment has been prescribed is an expiation for that sin. Sincere repentance from sin is also an expiation for sin, and “the one who repents from sin is like the one who did not sin.” And Allaah will turn his bad deeds into good deeds. If he is sincere in his repentance, and prays a great deal for forgiveness, then he does not have to confess so that the hadd punishment may be carried out on him. Rather repentance is sufficient, in sha Allaah.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse ___ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And whosoever repents and does righteous good deeds; then verily, he repents towards Allaah with true repentance” [al-Furqaan 25:68-71]
It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give me your oath of allegiance and your pledge that you will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, or steal, or commit adultery, or kill your children, or utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making illegal children belonging to their husbands) [cf. al-Mumtahanah 60:12], or disobey with regard to anything that is good. Whoever among you fulfils this pledge, Allaah will reward him, and whoever does any of these things and is punished in this world, that will be an expiation for him. Whoever does any of these things and Allaah conceals it for him, then it is up to Allaah: if He wills He will forgive him and if He wills He will punish him.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 18; Muslim, 1709. ]
In Saheeh Muslim (1695) it says that when Maa’iz came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and confessed that he had committed zina and said, “Purify me (i.e., carry out the hadd punishment on me)”, he said to him, “Woe to you, go back and ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him.”
Al- Nawawi said: This hadeeth indicates that the burden of sin is lifted from one who repents from major sins, and this is according to the consensus of the Muslims.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: From this case – i.e. the case of Maa’iz when he confessed zina – it may be understood that it is mustahabb for the one whose case is similar to repent to Allaah and to conceal himself and not mention his sin to anyone… This was affirmed by al-Shaafa’i who said: I prefer for the one who has committed a sin and been concealed by Allaah to conceal it himself and to repent. [Fath al-Baari, 12/124, 125]
And it was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these sins that Allaah has forbidden, but whoever does any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent to Allaah, for whoever tells us of what he has done, we will carry out (the punishment prescribed in) the Book of Allaah on him.” [It was also narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak ‘ala al-Saheehayn (4/425) and by al-Bayhaqi (8/330); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 149. ]
And Allah knows best
3. How can someone who used to commit adultery and steal repent?
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Question:
If someone is a very bad Muslim. He/she commits adultry, steals, and gambles. What is the punishment for that person? Just suppose, later in his/her life he/she realize that he wants to be punished for all the sins he has commited. What should that person do? Can he/she go and tell the world to cut-off his hands, and slaughter his head because he is a sinner?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: Adultery (zina) is a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And come not near to unlawful sex [zina]. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin, and an evil way that leads one to hell unless Allaah Forgives him)” [al-Isra’ 17:32]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The adulterer is not a believer at the moment when he is committing adultery; the wine-drinker is not a believer at the moment when he is drinking wine; the thief is not a believer at the moment when he is stealing; the robber is not a believer at the moment when he is robbing and the people are looking on.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2475; Muslim, 57).
It is a major sin, and the one who does it is warned of a painful torment. In an important hadeeth – the hadeeth of the Mi’raaj – the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We went on and we came to something like a tannoor oven.” I [the narrator] think that he said, that in it there were shouting and voices. “We looked inside and we saw naked men and women, towards whom flames were coming from the bottom of the oven. When the flames reached them they made a noise. I said to them [the two angels], ‘Who are these people?’ … They said to me, ‘We will tell you… the naked men and women in the structure like a tannoor oven are the adulterers and adulteresses.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari in Baab Ithm al-Zunaat, no. 7047).
Allaah also punishes the adulterers severely in this world, and has prescribed the hadd punishment for that. Allaah says concerning the unmarried person who commits zina:
“The fornicatress and the fornicator, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allaah, if you believe in Allaah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment”
[al-Noor 24:2 – interpretation of the meaning]
With regard to one who is married, the hadd punishment is execution. It says in a hadeeth narrated by Imam Muslim in his Saheeh (3199) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For a married or previously-married person the punishment is one hundred lashes and stoning.”
Secondly:
Stealing is also a major sin. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And (as for) the male thief and the female thief, cut off (from the wrist joint) their (right) hands as a recompense for that which they committed, a punishment by way of example from Allaah” [al-Maa'idah 5:38]
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) addressed the people of the Day of Sacrifice and said: “O people, what day is this?” They said, “A sacred day.” He said, “What land is this?” They said, “A sacred land.” He said, “What month is this?” They said, “A sacred month.” He said, “Your blood, your wealth and your honour are as sacred to you as this day of yours in this land of yours in this month of yours.” He repeated it several times, then he raised his head and said, “O Allaah, have I conveyed (the message)? O Allaah, have I conveyed (the message)?” Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, this was his last advice to his ummah, so let those who are present convey it to those who are absent.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1652)
The punishment for stealing is amputation of the right hand as is mentioned in the aayah quoted above. So we advise the one who is asking this question to repent and seek forgiveness for his sins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And verily, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them (till his death)” [Ta-Ha 20:82]
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘Allaah says: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you and I would not mind. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.”’” (al-Tirmidhi, 3540; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4338) It was narrated from Abu Dharr that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that Allaah says: “… O My slaves, you commit sin night and day, and I forgive all sins, so ask Me for forgiveness …” (Muslim, 2577)
Fourthly: Repentance that is a matter between a person and his Lord is better for him than confessing his sin before a qaadi (judge) so that the hadd punishment may be carried out on him. In Saheeh Muslim (1695) it is narrated that when Maa’iz came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “Purify me,” he said, “Woe to you! Go back and pray to Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him.”
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: It may be understood from this case – the case of Maa’iz when he confessed to having committed zina – that it is mustahabb for the one who falls into a similar sin to repent to Allaah and conceal his sin and not mention it to anyone, as Abu Bakr and ‘Umar said to Maa’iz. Whoever discovers anything of that nature should conceal it according to what we have mentioned; he should not expose it or refer the matter to the ruler, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in this story: “If you had concealed it with your garment it would have been better for you.” Hence al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “If a person commits a sin and Allaah conceals it for him, I prefer for him to conceal it too and to repent,” and he quoted as evidence the story of Maa’iz with Abu Bakr and ‘Umar. [ Fath al-Baari, 12/124, 125]
And Allah knows best
4. Asking about a person’s past
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Question: As-salam wai lai kum, When helping brothers/sisters to find suitable Muslim partners, what questions can be asked, and what is forbidden to ask ?
Can one ask about their past when they were non-Muslim or not practicing Muslims ?
Can one ask ones wife/sister to describe in detail the appearance of an intended wife or describe in detail to them regarding a brother ? Was Salam
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
If you want to look for a wife for someone, or a husband for a woman, then you can ask him about his wishes, such as the desired age, level of education, employment situation, country and origin and position of the family, and whether he has any preferences about her general appearance, such as skin colour, height, etc. The most important characteristic to ask about is a person’s level of commitment to Islam. This kind of useful question is fine.
But asking for details of a person’s past and wanting to know what sins they might have committed when they were ignorant about Islam – this is not right at all. Allaah covers people’s sins and loves to see them covered (i.e., not dragged out into the open). So long as a person has repented, his sins have been wiped out. Islam deletes whatever came before, so why should we ask questions that will only embarrass people? Allaah accepts people’s repentance without their having to confess or expose their sins to any other person. A number of the Sahaabah had committed adultery and murder repeatedly, or had buried infant girls alive, or stolen things, but when they entered Islam they were the best of people. No one needs to be reminded of a shameful past; it is over and done with, and Allaah is the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. What matters when considering a person for marriage is how that person is now: is he righteous or not? Has he cut all ties with his past and his wrong deeds, or not? If he is clearly living a good and righteous life now, then it is wrong to dig up the past. If there is any fear of anything that could have future implications, such as certain diseases and so on, then there are medical tests which can give the answer and put your mind at rest.
As far as giving a detailed description of a prospective wife to someone is concerned, this can be done in writing: one of her mahram relatives (i.e. a blood relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden) or a woman who knows her can write down a description, then a trustworthy person can deliver it to one who is seriously considering a marriage proposal. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No woman should describe another woman to her husband as if he can see her.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4839)
The wisdom behind this prohibition is the fact that a husband might like the sound of what he hears, so he may divorce the one who described the other to him, or there may be temptation to do wrong. (Commentary on the above hadeeth in Fath al-Baari).
We ask Allaah to help us all to do that which He loves and will earn His pleasure. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.
And Allah knows best
5. Effect of a wife telling her husband about her bad past, and the effect of that on her life
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Question: Kindly dont ignore this question. May Allah bless all for bringing light in the life of people in difficulties. I am a married and working woman who needs help and advice desperately. I got married a few months back. Problems began soon after that.I was not very religious during my college years and was studying away from my parents. Shaytan took me over and I found a non- Muslim guy very helpful and friendly. I was over confident about myself and I some times used to travel with him to my home town (By Road). On a cursed occasion, he started advancing physically towards me. I fell in the clusters of Shaytan and continued to be in the cursed situation a few times. Once I did the gravest mistake of being alone with him in a house. He tried to do the worst though the utmost did not happen. I realized the depth of my mistake only then.
Although I never went back to such actions, after this evil incident, he has twice seen me formally. Although the relationship came to an end, he used to try me over phone and I used to attend it rarely. But nothing beyond that ever happened. I regret a lot for all these actions .Allah Subhantawla made me realize my mistakes and I have repented to him and prayed for his forgiveness. I am still praying. Later I became much regular in prayers, fasted and found time and interest to learn and adhere to the religion which gave me hopes. My parents started inviting proposals for me and for a long time I had the feeling that I shouldn’t marry and spoil an innocent man’s life. But as my passion for religion increased, I realized that I should not stay unmarried. Then my marriage got fixed with my husband. The thought haunted me, if I should disclose my past to him. I took the path of religion and kept quiet as I have repented deeply for my mistakes. My sense of insecurity made me feel that I should inform the non-Muslim ever not to try to disturb me by any means and I did inform him. Please tell me if this action was correct.
My fiancé started calling me over telephone. In the beginning itself I found him very much suspicious by nature. He did not trust on anyone. He was not much inclined to religion although he wanted me to practice .I hoped that I could bring improvement in him. Once I was forced to speak out that I had an infatuation at my younger age, but not the details. I got married and life began with difficulties. Though, as a wife I have been ever sincere to him, suspicion grew. He started mentally harassing and pestering me all the time digging about my past and he assured me that if anything had happened itself, he would forgive me If I disclosed it. I tried my maximum to avoid questions. He brought the Quran and asked me to make promises. I did the greatest mistake of lying even then. I feel bad about it. Will I be forgiven? I couldn’t stand for long. I disclosed him my past. Life became more difficult for me. He forced me to write to my beloved father and brother in detail about my past. He informed my mother also. They all became speechless. I was degraded to all extent. (Not in public).
I know he loves me, but he uses every opportunity to hurt me mentioning about my past and he always accuses there might me more than what has been disclosed. He does not let me mingle much with my family and even closest relatives. He does not give me peace of mind while at office and has mood swings frequently. Worst of all he is/ was inclined to Shirk, evil eye, black magic like things and seldom goes to Friday mosque even. He says he does not practice it anymore. When I speak about it he points out about my past though he sometimes feels bad about it later. I am so desperate. I need advice. But I know that my love for him is sincere. (He also does !) and I also don’t want to bring any more agonies to my family .How can I improve this situation? Please advice. Please help. May Allah bless all.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: We ask Allaah to accept her repentance and to forgive her for her sins, and to turn her bad deeds into good deeds. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilâh (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse __ and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
It is not permissible for a husband to let the shaytaan find a way into his heart to make him doubt his wife. The path of doubt is a thorny path which brings no happiness in life, rather his life will be filled with anxiety, worry and exaggeration of minor issues. This is what will make him wrong others and praise himself, and will lead to psychological problem and maybe even physical problems with which Allaah will punish him.
The husband should not have any doubts about his wife at all, and he has no right to ask her about her past. In most cases there is no one who does not have a past which he wishes he could erase from his record and from his memory and the memories of those who know him. If the shaytaan comes to him and makes him force his wife to tell him about her past, this is something offensive, repugnant and haraam. How can it be otherwise, when Allaah has enjoined us to conceal faults? A man should conceal his own shortcomings and conceal those of others too. The husband’s questions mean that he is falling short on both counts.
The man has no right to seek out information on the past from which his wife has repented, for the reasons outlined above. And the women should not tell her husband of what happened in the past that she has repented from; she should cover herself as Allaah has covered her.
Secondly : It is hoped that the wife will adhere to the oath she made when she swore to him that she did not have anything bad in her past. He has no right to force her to talk about her past, let alone make her swear. If she did that, it is a kind of permissible lying, even if she swore an oath, so as to ward off her husband’s foolishness and protect her honour, and to protect her husband and children.
We are surprised that a righteous wife would retract her oath and disclose a past which Allaah had concealed.
Many women ask about the ruling on telling their husbands about a past in which they admit to having committed sins from which they have repented. No one should have any doubt that the ruling is that they definitely should not tell, so as to protect the concealment that Allaah has granted, and so as to prevent her being shamed, and to protect her honour from being impugned by anyone, and to protect their married life from any disturbance.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Avoid these filthy things that Allaah has forbidden. Whoever has done any of them, let him conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah, and let him repent to Allaah, because if anyone discloses his deeds to us, we will punish him as prescribed in the Book of Allaah.” [Narrated by Maalik (1562) in a mursal report, and by al-Haakim (4/425) and al-Bayhaqi (8/330) in a muttasal report. The hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, Ibn al-Sakan and Ibn al-Mulaqqin; and it was classed as hasan by al-‘Iraqi and al-Albaani. al-Talkhees al-Habeer (4/57); Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer by Ibn al- Mulaqqin (2/303); al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (663). ]
Filthy things refers to bad actions and foul speech that Allaah has forbidden.
Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: This hadeeth indicates that it is obligatory for a Muslim to conceal his private affairs if he has committed an immoral action, and that is also required with regard to other people. Al-Tamheed (5/337).
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly, and it is part of committing sin openly for a man to do something at night, then in the morning when his Lord has concealed him he says: O So and so, I did such and such last night, when his Lord had concealed him all night, but in the morning he discloses that which Allaah had concealed for him.” [Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5721) and Muslim (2990). ]
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: As for the sinning believer, if he commits sin it is better for him not to do so openly and not to tell anyone about it, and to conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent from it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly”. Those who commit sin openly are those who do bad deeds then in the morning they tell people what they have done. The one who does any of these filthy things should conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah and repent to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, and should not tell anyone about it. [Liqaa’aat al-baab il-Maftooh (13/question no. 13). ]
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It may be learned from this story – i.e., the story of Maa’iz when he admitted to having committed adultery – that it is mustahabb for the one who does something similar to repent to Allaah, may He be exalted, and conceal himself, and not tell anyone about that. Hence al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah be pleased with him) stated: If a person commits a sin and Allaah conceals him, I prefer for him to conceal himself and repent. [Fath al-Baari (12/124, 125).]
In al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah it says (3/181, 182): The fuqaha’ are unanimously agreed that if a person does anything for which he is to be shamed, it is recommended for him to conceal himself and not tell anyone, not even the qaadi (judge) so that the hadd punishment or ta’zeer (disciplinary punishment) may be carried out on him, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari and others from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be fine except those who commit sin openly…” And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who does any of these filthy things should conceal himself with the concealment of Allaah.”
Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq said: “If I catch a drinker, I would prefer that Allaah had concealed him, and if I catch a thief I would prefer that Allaah had concealed him.” It is narrated that the Sahaabah –Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Ali, ‘Ammaar ibn Yaasir, Abu Hurayrah, Abu’l-Darda’, al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali and others – concealed those who confessed to sin, or they prompted them to retract their confession, so as to conceal them. But it is better for the one who has committed sin to conceal himself rather than have others conceal him. Committing sin openly out of ignorance is better than committing sin openly out of a desire to brag. Ibn Hajar said: The one who deliberately commits sin openly and flaunts it angers his Lord. Al-Khateeb al-Sharbeeni said: As for flaunting it openly, it is definitely haraam..
The scholars have mentioned the benefits of concealing sin. In al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (3/182) it says:
Concealing sin results in the following:
(a) Not carrying out worldly punishments, because punishments are not required except after proof has been established. But if he conceals it and does not announce it or confess to it, and there is no way of proving it, then there is no punishment.
(b) Sin does not spread further. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, those who like that (the crime of) illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, they will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allaah knows and you know not” [al-Noor 24:19].
(c) The one who commits a sin and then conceals it is more likely to repent from it. If he repents then he is no longer to blame for it. If the sin has to do with the rights of Allaah then repentance means that he is no longer to blame for it, because Allaah is the most generous of those who are generous, and His mercy prevails over His wrath. So if He conceals him in this world, He will not expose him in the Hereafter. But if the sin has to do with the rights of other people, such as murder, slander, etc, then one of the conditions of repentance is that he restore those rights to those who are entitled to them, or he be forgiven by them. Hence the one who has concealed a sin that has to do with the rights of other people must restore those rights to them..
At the beginning of this answer we mentioned other benefits that have to do with concealing sins committed by the wife before marriage. We do not know of anyone who heard about his wife’s bad past and began to love her more or trust her more, even if she has repented sincerely and become righteous after that. On the contrary, we have seen and heard that doubts increase and that husbands keep a close watch on them and prevent them from doing things that Allaah has permitted, and that ends in divorce because it is impossible for them to live together.
Thirdly: Hence we think that in the case of the wife asked about here:
1- If possible she should lie about herself again in front of her husband, and tell him that it was because of his putting pressure on her, and that there is no basis of truth for what she said.
2- She should not tell her family, which is what her husband wants, otherwise she will be making the same mistakes.
3- If he is not convinced then she should tell her family about that, if the husband tells them what she said.
4- She should be patient in her new life with him, so that she can prove to him that the past has nothing to do with the present. She should try to put up with his words and actions until Allaah guides him, and she should pray to her Lord to guide him and set his mind straight.
5- If his doubts and mistreatment continue and she cannot put up with it, then she has no choice but to leave him, otherwise her life will become an unbearable hell and we do not think that he willwait for long until he decides to divorce her.
6- Apart from this problem and its consequences, we do not advise this woman to stay with a husband who is as bad as she has described, namely his attachment to shirk and witchcraft, and his neglect of prayer, even Jumu’ah prayer, in addition to the doubts and suspicions that she has mentioned, and his mistreatment of her. We do not encourage her to be keen to live with such a person, because a life like that will only take her even further away from the path of faith and guidance.
She should take stock of her situation before her Lord, and pray to her Lord to lessen her calamity and to replace it with something better.
And Allah knows best