your help is requested.

[Tuwaylib]

Assalamu alaikum

a brother i know since we were in highschool is very depressed. he needs help.... suggestions plz. he keeps breaking down and crying, breathing problems etc


the reason he is depressed is he wanted something and Allah decreed otherwise....and it is difficult for him at this moment to accept what has been decreed... even tho inside he knows that Allah is al'aleem.

so please advise, other than giving it time.....

jazakumAllahu khair

[Umm]

He wants to marry a sister, but her family said no? That is the no.1 cause of brothers getting depressed.
Maybe if he went umrah? Or perhaps a trip with brothers with lots of activity. It isn't going to be solved overnight, but perhaps a change of scenary.

[Magoo]

tell him to get married to a different sister, these pre-marital relationships tend to be a combination of obsession and lust, both are easily replaced with a new partner, if the brother marries a good sister i believe he will forget the previous woman in no time inshAllah

this is assuming that his situation is a heartbreak one, if it is something else then good company is essential, people who love and fear Allah should spend time with him, and they should try and avoid discussing his issue, talk about other things, go for a little break (umrah would be perfect as sister umm said)

and Allah knows best

[waziri]

Plenty more fish in the sea.


Allhamdulillah ala quli hal


Tell him to think of those less fortunate than himself.There is muslims who are living a real nightmare who have nothing but war and destruction yet they by the will of Allah are not depressed and some of them are actually content with their lot Alhamdulillah.



wasalam

[Iqra]

wa alaikum assalaam.

It can be difficult but he really needs to be content with Allaah Ta'Ala has decreed for him because then Allaah will be pleased with him and grant him better than that which he lost. I agree ummarh would be good for him, InshAllaah.

[Umm Ahmed]

The main thing for you to do for him at the moment is to be a good friend , that means a lot of listening and patience ,surround him with good brothers and get him involved with something in your area the summertime is when there are lots of confrences.
Good advice here on the divine decree . http://www.islamicawakening.com/viewarticle.php?articleID=31&

Time and patience heals hearts , may Allaah make it easy for him and that Allaah gives you the patience to help him through this ameen.

[gag order]

assuming that it is not clinical, he needs only beseech allah to compensate him. he will surely feel better to continue to supplicate, he will either get it, get something else, or avert some harm that was coming his way.

he needs to put himself in this state of mind, for his emotional well bieng depends on how he copes with it. however its not going to be easy, its a tough lesson to be learnt and he will probably go through a range emotions. and if your there for him he doesnt have to go it alone 'playing the scenario' over and over in his head until he is consumed by self pity.

in circumstances such as these its important to approach (supplication) allah soon after the initial 'dissapointment'. its times like these, people get all philosophical - thats a good thing use it!



for some inspiration read the story of ayub (as)

[defenderofbusharraf]

Plenty more fish in the sea.






probably the first thing i agree with bro waziri on lol....(maybe the only thing??:D )....too many muslimahs out there dude, leave it out! u were created to worship Allah swt, not drown in ur nafs driven waves.....

well assuming that a rejected marriage proposal is actually the problem...

marriage in islam is so much bigger than just the obsession over one person....that would remind me of the kuffar, who obsess till their hearts bleed over one person, and when they get with them, ask them 2 years later oh hows it goin, and u get the divorce word in ur face....no lie..

muslims should be marrying for the sake of Allah swt, meaning marry for the religion, not for some nafs driven desire over one muslimah....there r plenty of muslimahs alhamdullilah who have the deen and value it, so why the need for all the breathing problems and crying? u honestly gonna tell me that a woman of the dunya has that much grip over u? lol, save it dude, save it for the clean maidens of paradise...lol......as a muslim man, it is U who should have the grip over the muslimah, not the other way round....restore ur sense of honour at once, i demand it!!!!!:D ...u r not reprezenting the muslim brotherhood well!
the only thing that should have a grip over u in this dunya is Allah swt....no human is worth getting depressed about....

be a man! find and marry another muslimah! dont personalise the issue! dont be a slave to ur desires, be a slave to Allah swt!!!!...in all seriousness though...

and the main thing i forgot to mention, if Allah swt has decreed something in ur life, then accept it....cuz u cannot contest it. no waaays.

i been through all that, back in the bad old days of mixed high school...lol,, waste of time my bro, big waste of time......

[salafiya]

Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

A sister once shared a quote with me:

Remember when you asked for the hand of so-and-so, the daughter of so-and-so, and others also asked for her hand so i gave her to you to marry and kept the others away.

Patience and Gratitude by Ibn al Qayyim, Chapter 17

So tell your friend to take comfort in that. What is good for him, Allaah will push it towards him and what is bad for him, Allaah will remove it.

If it is marriage-related, tell him it's not worth getting upset over. Like the others said, plenty of other sisters and Allaah already knows who he is going to marry if he will marry in this dunya. So look at the silver lining. He's one sister closer to finding the sister for him.

[William Wurkmun Fosterr]

wa alaikum assalaam.

It can be difficult but he really needs to be content with Allaah Ta'Ala has decreed for him because then Allaah will be pleased with him and grant him better than that which he lost. I agree ummarh would be good for him, InshAllaah.I Hope I'm doing this Correctly but I Support Iqra's remarks. No matter how bad it may seem, it WILL get Better.

[Niqaabis]

the reason he is depressed is he wanted something and Allah decreed otherwise....and it is difficult for him at this moment to accept what has been decreed... even tho inside he knows that Allah is al'aleem.




Allaah says "od`a oonee astajiblakum" - Call upon Me; I will respond to you. Every du`aa is accepted, just sometimes in ways we cannot comprehend.

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[Abuz Zubair]

Wow... even Islamic Nasheeds are using 'Cher' effects!