Having non-Muslim parents

[defender of tawheed]

As salaamu 'alaikum:

How should Muslim reverts (“converts”) interact with their non-Muslim parents? I think that many Muslims (born into Muslim families or reverted brothers and sisters) kind of take it as conventional wisdom, and rightfully so, that of course Allah (swt) has emphasized over and over the importance of loving your parents, and of course especially our mothers. Yes, this is all true, however, and with that being said, does this also apply to non-Muslim parents? Is Allah (swt) commanding this exclusively to Muslims, but not to disbelievers? I know that if one has kaafir parents, and as long as they don't try to stop you from salaah, and if they don't denigrate the Deen or insult the rasoolAllah (saw) one is supposed to to at least, not “hate” them, and have a modicum of respect for them, at least, that's what I thought. And of course, Muslim reverts should always, no doubt try to give dawah to their family, and so it could be argued that, this is another reason to try to keep “good relations” with them - as long as of course they are not trying to stop you from practicing your Deen, or insulting your Deen, etc.

But also something else kind of comes up, that would seem to clash with this mode of thinking. And that is the concept of “al Walaa wal Baraa,” loving and hating for the sake of Allah (swt). I mean if a Muslim has non-Muslim parents and is trying to strictly go by the Deen of Allah - the Qur'an and the Sunnah of RasoolAllah (swt) - and NOT by “emotion,” or “sentimentality,” would it be Islamically correct for a Muslim revert to have “love,” or to have some respect for their non-Muslims parents? And especially nowadays, it is getting more confusing, as it seems we're hearing more and more brothers (it seems there are many “Anjem Choudhury” types), talking about how good and halaal for operations to be done against noncombatant (civilian) non-Muslims, the fact that there are no “innocent” non-Muslims, etc.

Sorry to ramble on, but could someone please give some feed back, if they have some knowledge about this? I mean this issue is very, very relevant today, as we have many reverts, alhamdulillah, all over, whether in Europe, North America, Latin America, etc.

JazakAllahu khair

[Umm Ahmed]

Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr was the Prophet’s sister-in-law. She was the daughter of his closest companion and the sister of Aisha, his wife. Her mother, however, did not become a Muslim for quite a long time.Asmaa’ states: “My mother came to me during the time of the Prophet (Pbuh), hoping to get something from me. I asked the Prophet (Pbuh) whether I should be kind to her. He answered: “Yes,”
(Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others).

There is permissible love which one has for one's spouse ( muslims married to non muslims) and the same goes for one's parents , but you hate the kuffur they are upon.
If you hated your parents, you would hardly be in a right mindset to give them any kind of Islamic guidence. Kindness could be a means for one's family to come to Islaam

In matters of obedience to Allaah then thats a different story.

We have enjoined upon man goodness toward his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his weaning is within two years. Be grateful toward Me and toward your parents, with Me all journeys end. Yet should they (your parents) endeavor to make you ascribe divinity, side by side with Me to something of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them. But even then bear them company with kindness in the life of this world and follow the path of those who turn toward me. (Surah Luqman 31:14-15)

t is reported that these verses were revealed when the mother of Sa’ad ibn Abu Waqqas, who was a companion of the Prophet (Pbuh), was so upset when she learned that he had embraced Islam. She tried to persuade him to recant. Realizing that he was determined to follow the Prophet (Pbuh), she tried to increase the pressure on him. She knew that he was a most dutiful child and he loved her dearly. She thought that if she brought hardship on herself, he would feel sorry for her and might listen to her. She swore that she would not taste any food or drink until he had left the Prophet (Pbuh).

The judgement in his case was given by Allah in the above verses. Sa’ad did not listen to his mother and continued to be one of the best companions of the Prophet (Pbuh). He was later given the happy news by the Prophet that he was certain to be admitted into heaven.

It is clear from his story and the verses revealed by Allaah concerning it that when it comes to matters of faith, a non-Muslim parent may not be obeyed.

[defender of tawheed]

Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr was the Prophet’s sister-in-law. She was the daughter of his closest companion and the sister of Aisha, his wife. Her mother, however, did not become a Muslim for quite a long time.Asmaa’ states: “My mother came to me during the time of the Prophet (Pbuh), hoping to get something from me. I asked the Prophet (Pbuh) whether I should be kind to her. He answered: “Yes,”
(Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others).

There is permissible love which one has for one's spouse ( muslims married to non muslims) and the same goes for one's parents , but you hate the kuffur they are upon.
If you hated your parents, you would hardly be in a right mindset to give them any kind of Islamic guidence. Kindness could be a means for one's family to come to Islaam

In matters of obedience to Allaah then thats a different story.

We have enjoined upon man goodness toward his parents: his mother bore him by bearing strain upon strain, and his weaning is within two years. Be grateful toward Me and toward your parents, with Me all journeys end. Yet should they (your parents) endeavor to make you ascribe divinity, side by side with Me to something of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them. But even then bear them company with kindness in the life of this world and follow the path of those who turn toward me. (Surah Luqman 31:14-15)

t is reported that these verses were revealed when the mother of Sa’ad ibn Abu Waqqas, who was a companion of the Prophet (Pbuh), was so upset when she learned that he had embraced Islam. She tried to persuade him to recant. Realizing that he was determined to follow the Prophet (Pbuh), she tried to increase the pressure on him. She knew that he was a most dutiful child and he loved her dearly. She thought that if she brought hardship on herself, he would feel sorry for her and might listen to her. She swore that she would not taste any food or drink until he had left the Prophet (Pbuh).

The judgement in his case was given by Allah in the above verses. Sa’ad did not listen to his mother and continued to be one of the best companions of the Prophet (Pbuh). He was later given the happy news by the Prophet that he was certain to be admitted into heaven.

It is clear from his story and the verses revealed by Allaah concerning it that when it comes to matters of faith, a non-Muslim parent may not be obeyed.

JazakAllahu Khair sister for your post. I also found this link from IslamQA: http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=322&ln=eng
How to Treat a Non-Muslim Mother

As salaamu 'alaikum

[Rehmat]

It is clear from his story and the verses revealed by Allaah concerning it that when it comes to matters of faith, a non-Muslim parent may not be obeyed.
Lol....In fact when it comes to matters of faith, even Muslim parent should not be obeyed.

[Umm Ahmed]

Lol....In fact when it comes to matters of faith, even Muslim parent should not be obeyed.

I don't find that funny , its sad.

[Rehmat]

I don't find that funny , its sad.
How could it be funny - ya Shykh - it's Allah's Commandment.

[Umm Ahmed]

How could it be funny - ya Shykh - it's Allah's Commandment.

I meant its sad that some muslims have parents that are like that. I am not a male so dont call me a shaykh.

[Rehmat]

True Islamic teachings are not based on gender racism or fanatic sectarianism. If a woman has or pretends to be Islamic scholar - could be called Shykh or Ustad :D

[Umm Ahmed]

Your wrong its *USTADAH and *Sheikha

And you should not throw words around to people you know nothing about , something you seem to relish which is evident in the majority of your posts.