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Fajr
14th October 2007, 10:55 AM
Of Cows and Corporation


SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some
milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks
the other and throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman
who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: They have two cows. They worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN EGYPTIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows, they both vote for Mubarak

Hamza
14th October 2007, 11:23 AM
Murji Corp: - They sell the "white bull."

Loved the post by the way - shukran

gag order
14th October 2007, 02:21 PM
israeli corporation: you have two cows both are bulldozed to make way for a patch of grass

israeli corporation: you send two cows across the border to graze in someone elses field and then milk the situation over the dispute

gag order
14th October 2007, 02:50 PM
mcdonalds: you have less than 2% cow in your burger

Abandoned-Mind
14th October 2007, 03:05 PM
Sahawi Corporation : No cows, just a lot of methane.

gag order
14th October 2007, 03:54 PM
bangladeshi corporation: you have far too many cows but you still import dano powdered milk from denmark

indian corporation: you have 100's of literate cows who are re-incarnated call centre staff. good moooorning sir my name is krishnamooooorthy how may i be of assistance today?
i am sorry sir i was not able to help nor understand you but feel free to have your call routed to india again....

pakistani corporation: you argue with india over 1 cow. you then suggest that whoever can take a kick to the 'queensburies' can have the cow. pakistan has the first kick and kicks india who falls to the ground in pain. then its indias turn to see if pakistan can take a kick. but pakistan says: its ok you can have the damn cow....

gag order
14th October 2007, 05:39 PM
tony blair: instead milking cows for its wholesome milk as promised, took its crap and gave us bull

john reid: there are no cows but he milks the situation for what its worth and rushes through anti-cow laws against sheep

gag order
14th October 2007, 08:11 PM
iranian corporation: you have one cow. you thought you could milk it without american intervention thinking that since you supplied them with sheep, they wouldnt mind.

saudi corporation: you have two cows. you then race them against pedigree horses and lose the milk in a bet

dubai corporation: you distribute brochures advertising cows that have not been born. you then sell the milk that hasnt been extracted.

algerian corporation: you lost your cow. you then snatch somebody elses prize winning cow and kill its owners or chase them away. you then sue for peace and give them some milk from their cow

australian corporation: you have a few cows but you chase them onto the beach and beat them up for looking at a kangaroo

mexican corporation: you have truckloads of cows to export only some get through others are returned

gag order
14th October 2007, 08:11 PM
anybody else cos i'm all out of cows?

Magoo
15th October 2007, 05:58 PM
mirpuri cows : sell both cows and send the money back home to build a huge villa that nobody will live in except for summer holidays when they visit

Abu Dharr Al Kashmiri
25th October 2007, 10:12 AM
Kashmir cows - If a cow dies you have to pay your respects, the owner has lost a source of provision and an expensive asset!

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

gag order
24th June 2008, 10:50 PM
kuwaiti corporation: after years of selling your neighbours milk, the cows wander into your land, you then call on the international community for help.

Abu Ikrimah
24th June 2008, 10:59 PM
Madkhali cows: They fight one another to the death over Abu'l Hasan Al-Ma'ribi, excrement all over the place, and then refuse to give any milk.

Usooli cows: They try to outdo one another in who is cleverer before both apostating from the deen in quick succession

Jihadi cows: Do takfeer of the whole world and vow to slaughter everyone, but not before turning on each other.

Yasir
24th June 2008, 11:06 PM
The Egyptian one was brilliant!

Usooli cows: They try to outdo one another in who is cleverer before both apostating from the deen in quick succession.How many ‘Usulis’ apostatising from the deen have you come across?

Abu Ikrimah
24th June 2008, 11:26 PM
The Egyptian one was brilliant!

How many ‘Usulis’ apostatising from the deen have you come across?

Well, they are not real 'usulis' of course... They like to think they are.