Loss

[murdiyyah]

Pent up.
Life is bent up
I drink from a flask, choke on glass and pass out. Sent up? No.
Still alive with dents cupped to the cement, swallowing gray dust
I touch the praised earth with a strange thrust and swell up

Rum running thin, burning the lining of this placenta
Stomaching hard liquor for ailments meant to kill sin
Whining for the angel of death's thumbprints as if insanity was a contest;
Hell, a concert; religion, a lapdance
Cracked and chipped... in love with a bucket of vomit
that sums up life's most honest content

Burnt up tires, flaring chainsaws; there is no withdrawing from spiritual brawls
No returning once the b r o k e n spirit howls... its last assault
eternal, ephemeral disavowals. Hands... down.
Align your route and walk down the isle...

The first time I met you, I stood without a cause
Pills, piercings, painting palpations. No applauds
Instead, venom claws cutting at this intellect raw
Toys for overgrown children picked from Hell's top shelf
Presents unwrapped with no eye gloss... screaming for help

A war with no bloodshed
What followed was... a nerve wreck
The love in this dunya is bandaged in gauze pads
and maintained with sedatives... pain gnaws at

Tired, I dropped the fetus of falsehood and fled
to start over without the lead [Pb] weighing down my DNA
a breadwinner without chromosomes. Anti-age without RetinA
too anemic to salivate in a famine made from blind faith
Starving on my own spiritual decay, agape...

I listen for your last breaths, but can't make out the sounds that come out
Busy inhaling the musk at wet dusk dew-drops of hoors' lusts
while from a distance loved ones are heard
shouting hand-cuffed

Your limbs were detached and in my palms
laid a silent calm
despite... the loss from flawed tactics and loose peace pacts
as sharp edges dangled from abandoned train tracks

I thought I loved you, but time will show
I really only loved the cause...
I loved the grin that formed on those jaws when Allaah's praise was called
Not the grinner for the grinner too was selfish in his walks
Leaving me behind after all those victory talks
Abandonment taunts most those on the forefronts...
(although I write this from the boondocks, ripped wallet flauntin')

This time when I meet you
I’ll show you how I answered His calls [inshaAllaah]
Call it Pleasure only if received from Him Alone and... no one else
knows there are nerves in this rooh made of stone
that I too was better off on my own
intentions and actions only for the King of the Highest Throne
that I too was selfish to the narrow of my bones
too selfish to taste... Loss.

::::::::::It's cold night out, I drop my ice cream cone, put my hands in my pockets, and cry.
The tears don't dry, turn into ice, and fly away with the wind like a dream of being second to best.
I'm second to last.

Source

[nomad]

did you write that? Its really gripping.

[murdiyyah]

did you write that? Its really gripping.

at first I thought you meant gripping as in:

to be under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or other spritual sources such as angels or demons

going insane for no apparent reason

or

To choke or lose control; lose your grip on an object or situation; scared.

Source: UrbanDictionary.com

but then I looked it in the standard dictionary:

holding the attention or interest intensely; fascinating; enthralling:

and realize, either way, it was a compliment . jazaa kullah khair.

[nomad]

lol, no i meant the 2nd one.

[Woes Over]

Murd, that was, as the Americans say, aweeesome! Like high-five, girl. The imagery in particular was incredible.

That's some truly raw talent you got there, ukhtee -- maa sha'Allaah.

[strive4islam]

lol this is beyond my intelect and vocabulary and i guess it makes it awsome

love

[IbnShaykh]

Not usually a fan of poetry (call me a heathen if you wish!)

However I really enjoyed this one masha'allah. Jzaki Allaahu Khayra!

[Isma'eel]

Sister got talent. Rep attack, everybody!

[murdiyyah]

Attacked (some failed ones too), u all r very encouraging, may Allaah swt love u, was salaam

[Aseerun]

I'm a tad late :/

Well done! Hafidhakillaah