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Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

This is a discussion on Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop? within the Marriage forums, part of the Family Life category; A US Security Report for Combat on Terror, 2006, West Point Military Academy reads in combatting Salafi Jihadists, "The difficulty ...

  1. #391
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    A US Security Report for Combat on Terror, 2006, West Point Military Academy reads in combatting Salafi Jihadists,
    "The difficulty comes in identifying the right leader or group. The US could discretely fund mainstream Salafi figures like Madkhali who are effective in siphoning off support from Jihadis and who do not advocate violence (e.g. by paying for publications, lectures, new schools). This will be effective in the short term, but it further strengthens the dehumanizing Salafi ideology from which the jihadi movement derives much of its inspiration. The US could also fund non-Salafis, but it currently lacks the expertise necesarry to determine who is truely influential. Perhaps a better strategy in the near term would be to pressure Middle Eastern Governments to allow greater political participation and visibilty for groups tat jihadis are threatened by. This apprach should vary from country to country. For example, in Egypt, it would be the Muslim Brotherhood; in Saudi Arabia, the Shia. Again, it is eseential that the U.S. hand not be seen."

  2. #392
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    Ok, fourth.
    The Hawaalian Alliance
    Faith - Insight - Progress

    God be with you, Don Quixote! Many are the windmills from which you have saved the Ummah!
    http://madkhalis.com/2013/06/the-qui...dkhali-and-co/

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  4. #393
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    Sisters are still being abused by Madkhali scumbags, so this topic should continuously be updated.

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  6. #394
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    Slightly different:


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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    ^ The Ummah is so orphan today.
    The Prophet ( ) said, "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent"* [Muslim]

    * Above statement is an extraction from a longer hadith.

  9. #396
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    Asalamualaykum


    Here is an article which somebody posted, please spread around in chain mails and other places, we need to crack down on this


    "Muslim communities around the world face many challenges, from both within as well as outside sources. Certain issues, such as poverty and substance abuse, are widespread amongst all races and religions. The Muslim community, however, also has problems unique to itself.
    One particular phenomenon has come to be known as that of marriage fraud a problem found in both the West and the Muslim world, although its occurrence has been more widely documented in the West. Most cases of marriage fraud are recorded to take place in certain areas of America, Canada, and the UK, although there is evidence that it also occurs in other Western and Arab countries.


    Shaykh Younus Kathrada, a South-African born Canadian imam has provided Islamic counseling and support services for over 20 years. He identifies the marriage bandit phenomenon as being when Muslim men and who claim to be knowledgeable and pious Muslims, prey on vulnerable women and convince them into marriages, only to use and abuse them, and leave them soon thereafter. Some of these individuals have married and divorced women countless times, passing them around to their friends and treating the women like a disposable commodity. (Read more)


    It is an evil practice which abuses and damages Muslim women; which destroys numerous homes, scars entire generations of children, and turns formerly earnest Muslims away from Islam completely.


    The mentality that encourages this conduct has no religious backing or justification whatsoever, no matter what they claim or how they attempt to twist and use the Deen of Islam to excuse their exploitation of nave and sincere women.
    Marriage fraud is no small thing; it involves psychological, emotional, and physical abuse; manipulation; outright deceit and duplicity, and worst of all, lack of any sense of conscientiousness, responsibility, or taqwa.


    Targets and Tactics


    In a time when marriage is a hot topic amongst every generation of Muslims, when young Muslim men and women find it extremely difficult to find suitable marriage partners, women inevitably remain the most vulnerable sector. Pressured by family or the community, or simply due to their great desire to fulfill the sunnah of marriage, many women fail to take the necessary precautions when choosing a spouse.


    In his experience with marriage bandits and their victims, Shaykh Younus has noted that certain women are at particular risk for being targeted by predators: converts/ reverts and newly-practicing Muslim women, especially those with non-Muslim or non-practicing families. There are various factors which place them at risk of being lured into abusive relationships.


    Some women have turned to Islam after many difficult experiences in their lives, including having had previous multiple relationships and children from those relationships. In an effort to support themselves and their children, and often with a nave view of what Muslim marriages are like, they eagerly accept proposals of marriage without digging deeper into their suitors backgrounds. Some of these women may have other issues which they feel make them less deserving of being choosy when it comes to choosing a spouse, such as mental illnesses, financial instability, or even body image issues.


    Unfortunately, the predators know exactly what to look for, what to say, and what to do to persuade these women into marriage. In some cases, they will find their victims through cyberspace: in the context of Islamic chatrooms and forums, these men will reach out to women seeking Islamic knowledge and build an emotional relationship with them based on the Deen. They place a strong emphasis on marriage and polygyny, and will remind these sisters that their place is in the home as a wife and mother. Sooner or later, the men and sometimes even the women will propose to the other party.


    Other abusers have a tried-and-tested method within their own communities. They will have a friends wife look out for and befriend new sisters who join the community, building a relationship with them and slowly encouraging them to marry a good brother my husband knows.


    One extremely common tactic used both by the cyber-predators as well as the local ones is religious and emotional manipulation: pressuring these women to marry quickly to fulfill the sunnah and protect their desires. For women seeking stability and a life partner, the combination of emotional blackmail (a woman who does not get married quickly is not a good Muslimah) and flattering attention (You are such a pious, wonderful Muslimah and I must marry you in order to protect myself!) can be very persuasive.


    When approached by men who promise to give them a happy Islamic household, who tell them that their beauty lies in their practice of the Deen rather than their looks; and convince them that polygyny is a sunnah that they should practice, many Muslim women are convinced by the idea of a perfect Islamic marriage and agree to these proposals.


    Warning Signs


    Almost all marriage bandit abusers display characteristics which should act as red flags for any Muslimah about to get married.
    To begin with, the woman is often told that her wali is either unsuitable (due to not being practicing enough, not approving of the suitor, or because he is making marriage difficult for no reason), or not valid (especially in the case of women with non-Muslim parents and family). The man will then convince the woman that they have a better person to act as the wali, usually a close friend of the man.


    Many women are also told that to ask for a mahr of any financial value is wrong, or against the Sunnah. The hadeeth about the most blessed marriage being that with the easiest mahr is trotted out and used to make the women feel guilty about making any kind of monetary request.


    A womans right to a wali who has her best interests in mind, and to a suitable mahr, are an inviolable part of the Shariah. No woman should ever be made to forgo these rights which she has been given by Allah Himself!


    The Deceit Continues


    Unfortunately, the abuse only continues and exacerbates once the woman agrees to the marriage. In many cases, she will find out that she has been lied to all along that she is neither a first wife, or the only wife, but that the man she has just married has one or more other wives already. In other cases, she will be told that as a second (or third, or fourth) wife, she must either support herself financially or live in the same household as the other wives, and share everything!


    Other women will find themselves suddenly not only responsible for themselves and any children they may have, but for the man as well. Some predators will hide their criminal records or lack of any education until after the nikah has been done, and then informing their wives that they are unable to work and support their family. They may insist that because they are seeking knowledge (usually on Internet chatrooms), it is the wifes duty to support them in every way, including financially. If the wife complains or challenges him, she is then accused of being a disobedient wife and causing problems. Their earlier recommendations of women remaining within the home are quickly forgotten.


    Abuse Across the Board


    Financial abuse is not the only type of abuse many women experience in these marriages. Mental abuse and emotional blackmail are rampant; physical and sexual abuse also take place. Victims are often unable to share their experiences or receive the necessary assistance to recover from these traumatizing incidents. Instead, due to the stigma and taboo of all these issues, women who leave these abusive marriages or speak out are more likely to be ostracized within their communities.


    Many women have found themselves not only used and abused, but abandoned as well. In some cases, women are divorced for no reason at all other than that their abuser has become tired of them or interested in new prey. Others find themselves pregnant, and are left both divorced and without any child support or even acknowledgement from the childs father.


    Losing Faith


    Obviously, every type of abuse takes its toll and has a deep effect on those involved not only the women themselves, but their children as well. One of the most terrible effects on the victims is that having lived through this vicious cycle, not only once but in many cases several times, the woman or her children may associate Islam with the abuse that they experienced. As a result, they may lose interest in practicing Islam, or leave it completely with extremely negative thoughts and emotions regarding it.


    Less drastically, but equally painfully, is that the women feel used and rejected; that their Islamic rights have been violated and that they have no recourse. Some become completely embittered with the idea of marriage and see all Muslim men as predators and abusers.


    How to Avoid the Trap


    A wali is a Muslim womans right a guardian who keeps her best interests in mind. Make sure that your wali is someone who truly looks out for you and whom you trust.
    Ask questions! Dont jump into a marriage blindly. Be aware of the type of person you are considering. Investigate, have your wali investigate, and dont trust anyone naively.
    Dont give up your mahr. Again, this is a Muslim womans right which no one can take away! Be reasonable, but dont be pressured into a symbolic mahr either, unless youre absolutely sure of it.
    Patience does not equal suffering. Be aware of the difference between patience with hardship, and being oppressed by someone who is withholding your Islamic rights. If your spouse is abusing you, whether mentally, emotionally, or physically, do not tolerate it. Seek the help of a supportive Imam or sisters who will find the appropriate resources for you.


    It is beyond time for the Muslim community to recognize the predators that exist in its midst, and to stand up for its Muslim sisters. The Prophet Muhammad (sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said: Help your brother whether he is the oppressor or the oppressed. He further emphasized that the only way to help the oppressor is to stop his oppression from continuing. Any Muslim who perpetrates or allows such blatant evil to continue is transgressing the rights which their fellow Muslims have over them.
    May Allah enable us to stand up for justice, and grant us the courage to fight evil wherever it may be."

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  11. #397
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    ^This article has a lot of wisdom. Like women should demand reasonable(not too much and not too less) mahr unless there is some exceptional case. Because a marriage bandit won't be willing to invest money on a fake marriage unless he is quite rich .

    One of the biggest issues facing such women is that they don't have a practicing Muslim wali . So if such a sister starts to practice Islam, she finds it abhorent to marry the guy chosen by her non-practicing or non-Muslim parents, who only look at things from the point of view of Dunya.

    This leads them to take the matter into their own hands and search up "practicing" Muslim men on internet and elsewhere. At this stage, some rarely find good men but most are trapped.

    So whats the solution.

    1- Sisters specially need to get out of Madkhalism. Because mostly its them who prey on girls.

    2- First talk to your family about marriage. If they are'nt practicing or have other priorities then go to a local Imam or Community of trusted sisters for marriage.

    3- Don't engage with opposite sex on social media/chat rooms . Writing on twitter profile "Brothers! no DM" or on facebook "I don't accept friend requests from brothers" generally turns off the bandits.

    4- Always make Istikhara.

    5- When shaytaan can't lead you to sin straight, he creeps in slowly. Like telling a girl "Just talk to guy, he might be a very good Practicing Muslim" and so the first step towards haram is made when two non-Mahrams interact with each other.

    6- There are exceptions when such online matches do work. One might be encouraged to search up marriage the wrong way, if they know someone for whom it worked. But rules are'nt made on exception. Besides that, a genuine Muslim guy can be easily differentiated from a bandit by different ways. Some of whom were mentioned in the previous article.

    7- If you are searching up on a matrimonial site though it should be avoided, you can give the contact of your designated wali instead of engaging by yourself. If you don't have one then talk to a trusted Imam and make him the wali.

  12. #398
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    Excellent article.

    Sent from my GT-N7105 using Tapatalk 4
    ٰ


    {And is one who was dead and We gave him life and made for him light by which to walk among the people like one who is in darkness, never to emerge therefrom? Thus it has been made pleasing to the disbelievers that which they were doing.}

    Al-An'aam 122

  13. #399
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    Mashallah Anonymouse killed it.

  14. #400
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    Default Re: Salafi Marriage Bandits... when will it stop?

    Here's the link to the above article. Do as the brother suggested and pass it on to as many people as you can:

    The Salafi Feminist: Marriage Bandits

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